"life is all a matter of perspective: if your life is going well and you find yourself walking along the beach with two Metalica rejects, you might think it was a bad day. on the other hand, if your life is in the toilet and you have a nasty phinal sytrait hangover you could say... 'what the hell? I AM at the beach'....."
have you ever realized that all we do, every choice we make, effects some other outside entity in the universe? people forget the responsibility one has in a course of events... from a sentence spoken to a dinner missed, these things put other turns of events into play. cause and effect, for an action there is a reaction.
"who wants to admit they have that much responsibility?"
society at large I believe has lost its ability to take that responsibility and claim it as individuals working in a common system. if the guy down the block blocks the driveway for five minutes, does he know that two different neighbors are inconvenienced twenty minutes or more each for his convenience? does the woman putting on her mascara in the car on the freeway realize her slight swerve left causes a three car accident a quarter mile behind her? or the customer at the supermarket who lets someone cut in line due to the small amount of groceries versus their own with a smile of curtesy - and passes that smile to the cashier and the baggers. all connected.
"what I don't know is who the new asshole is... I mean, how many assholes does one guy need?"
as my relationship progresses with my sweetness and my girlfriend as well, life seems to count precious stones in my velvet treasured heartshaped box. lately I have been blessed with better company, a lover who loves me and a girlfriend who adores me with her smile and soul. all I ever wanted and needed has been offered to me now that I stripped myself of the dirty and dark linens I pimped around ever so delicately since my return from the city of Manhattan.
a large part of me wants to return to her.... and leave my mistress of lost angels behind again.
"He's damaged", she insists. He responds. "Ah, but we like that in a person."
in this world there are the fast and the slow. my hansel taught me that. the more brilliant lights shine because they are somehow able to set themselves apart - and the majority of the time it is because of the damaged pieces of one's person that intregue me so, that pulls my heart strings and gains my ear. this is a fondness and a weakness, gets me in trouble everytime. dating women, I have this common issue simply because I want to take care of them in all ways possible. and when dating men, I have in the past put on the mask of the perfect girl customed to the boy's needs and wants. damaged goods are my type of people...
claire: you must be somebody who is always on the lookout for a new way to fuck up
eugene: what is it about me that you find so objectionable?
claire: other than the fact that you're a drug addict and the only patients you treat are criminals?
eugene: you mean, your associates. [beat] I'm not a drug addict. I don't take drugs to get high, I take drugs to feel normal,... I monitor my drug intake very carefully.
claire: oh I'm sorry, that's right, you're a highly trained professional. you should know.
eugene: aw no, actually you were right the first time. I'm just basically looking for a new way to fuck up.
the last few years of my life I have surrounded myself with the odds and ends of society, the ruffians and the drug addicts; people on the fringes of existence and some people who just hit some tough spots. all of them have shown me different perspectives of life, sides a girl like me would never be blessed to see or experience on any level. lets be honest, I am a middle class white girl from Los Angeles - the shady side of life has brushed my side a few times. the funniest part is the element of people and I seem to understand each other much better than normal members of society. so should I just be an underground ring leader? perhaps not. but perhaps it goes further than obvious labels... perhaps it is simply a degree of character.
"I solemnly swear to change my approach, stop shaving coke, stay away from hoes, cuz I been doing the most... oh no! And every time I thought that was that.... they call me right back" (Jay Z)
working on getting out of the miserable world I created years ago. the road is long and rocky but the hike burns so good on my calves so I will plow on.... it is worth it every turn of the page, every day I am cleaner and more aware of reality without the substances involved, the better I am.
eugene: are you gonna hurt me?
raymond: are you asking because you're afraid or because you want me to?
eugene: i'm just trying to plan my day.
after three weeks of constant time spent, the official verdict is in: my sweetness and I will not kill each other in a domestic situation. ::whipes head with back of hand:: WHEW! I was worried... not really though.
life is good and I feel amazing,.. the rebirth over and over.... no wonder the Christians like being born again!
my photoshoot yesterday with model Erika.... one of the first edits. I'm pretty good with a camera.... love!
SURVEY: who would win a debate? someone on crystal meth or a born again Christian? CRYSTAL VS. CHRISTIAN
have you ever realized that all we do, every choice we make, effects some other outside entity in the universe? people forget the responsibility one has in a course of events... from a sentence spoken to a dinner missed, these things put other turns of events into play. cause and effect, for an action there is a reaction.
"who wants to admit they have that much responsibility?"
society at large I believe has lost its ability to take that responsibility and claim it as individuals working in a common system. if the guy down the block blocks the driveway for five minutes, does he know that two different neighbors are inconvenienced twenty minutes or more each for his convenience? does the woman putting on her mascara in the car on the freeway realize her slight swerve left causes a three car accident a quarter mile behind her? or the customer at the supermarket who lets someone cut in line due to the small amount of groceries versus their own with a smile of curtesy - and passes that smile to the cashier and the baggers. all connected.
"what I don't know is who the new asshole is... I mean, how many assholes does one guy need?"
as my relationship progresses with my sweetness and my girlfriend as well, life seems to count precious stones in my velvet treasured heartshaped box. lately I have been blessed with better company, a lover who loves me and a girlfriend who adores me with her smile and soul. all I ever wanted and needed has been offered to me now that I stripped myself of the dirty and dark linens I pimped around ever so delicately since my return from the city of Manhattan.
a large part of me wants to return to her.... and leave my mistress of lost angels behind again.
"He's damaged", she insists. He responds. "Ah, but we like that in a person."
in this world there are the fast and the slow. my hansel taught me that. the more brilliant lights shine because they are somehow able to set themselves apart - and the majority of the time it is because of the damaged pieces of one's person that intregue me so, that pulls my heart strings and gains my ear. this is a fondness and a weakness, gets me in trouble everytime. dating women, I have this common issue simply because I want to take care of them in all ways possible. and when dating men, I have in the past put on the mask of the perfect girl customed to the boy's needs and wants. damaged goods are my type of people...
claire: you must be somebody who is always on the lookout for a new way to fuck up
eugene: what is it about me that you find so objectionable?
claire: other than the fact that you're a drug addict and the only patients you treat are criminals?
eugene: you mean, your associates. [beat] I'm not a drug addict. I don't take drugs to get high, I take drugs to feel normal,... I monitor my drug intake very carefully.
claire: oh I'm sorry, that's right, you're a highly trained professional. you should know.
eugene: aw no, actually you were right the first time. I'm just basically looking for a new way to fuck up.
the last few years of my life I have surrounded myself with the odds and ends of society, the ruffians and the drug addicts; people on the fringes of existence and some people who just hit some tough spots. all of them have shown me different perspectives of life, sides a girl like me would never be blessed to see or experience on any level. lets be honest, I am a middle class white girl from Los Angeles - the shady side of life has brushed my side a few times. the funniest part is the element of people and I seem to understand each other much better than normal members of society. so should I just be an underground ring leader? perhaps not. but perhaps it goes further than obvious labels... perhaps it is simply a degree of character.
"I solemnly swear to change my approach, stop shaving coke, stay away from hoes, cuz I been doing the most... oh no! And every time I thought that was that.... they call me right back" (Jay Z)
working on getting out of the miserable world I created years ago. the road is long and rocky but the hike burns so good on my calves so I will plow on.... it is worth it every turn of the page, every day I am cleaner and more aware of reality without the substances involved, the better I am.
eugene: are you gonna hurt me?
raymond: are you asking because you're afraid or because you want me to?
eugene: i'm just trying to plan my day.
after three weeks of constant time spent, the official verdict is in: my sweetness and I will not kill each other in a domestic situation. ::whipes head with back of hand:: WHEW! I was worried... not really though.
life is good and I feel amazing,.. the rebirth over and over.... no wonder the Christians like being born again!
my photoshoot yesterday with model Erika.... one of the first edits. I'm pretty good with a camera.... love!
SURVEY: who would win a debate? someone on crystal meth or a born again Christian? CRYSTAL VS. CHRISTIAN
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
baronvonfunk:
Why does being a druggy doctor seem like such a good idea when David Duchovny does it?
m_bethany:
cuz hes the tits!