The past is never really the past, some residue always remains to tint your vision. Its will make a beautiful prisim.
I dont want to work. Im sleeeeeeeepy. Who couldnt sleep till 3? Me. I got my fin aid problems fixed hopefully tho, so it should all be set soon. I have to call my doctor in a sec, to see if she can adjust my dose.
timtoxic:
Just worked another 11 hour day. No breaks or a lunch. Now I am a vegtable sitting hear trying to wind down. Weeee. 
They need a yawn smile.
They need a yawn smile.I know its been forever....well i guess it seems since i have been in love, or really cared "deeply" about someone, i guess thats what clinton was, caring deeply. Today, this guy talked about how great his girl was how they were getting married, things would be so perfect, he told everyone to keep the ones they have if they are content since its so...
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lysondra:
I have pretty weird views on relationships. I just took my meds, so ill be able to form compelte thoughts with out getting side tracked soon, and ill make a post, a pretty pretty post.
lysondra:
Im just weird. I think love is, too much work. So if you worked that hard to kiss someone bye, id be pissed lol. It hurts too much, i guess part of the reason i think falling in love is to complicated...I hate letting go...so id rather die alone. I dont get lonely i guess. I surround myself with people i have crushes on, i may never act on them or anything but that keeps me content if that makes any sense at all...its like im flirting and content being with these people and there isnt commitment issues, or fear or emotions or all that icky stuff, just friends. I dont tend to sleep with them either, sex also can make things complicated, its actualy kinda hard to find someone you like and likes you and your able to have sex with, without it getting all complex and serious. Id be content to like someone for a bit, and it just kinda happen ...Im not sure how to explain that, it would help if i wasnt a bit drunk. You start hanging out with someone become friends fuck around and then silently, with out all the talks and conflict it turn into whatever your both ready for, thats what happend with clinton and thats i guess the only reason it worked for so long. I dont know, im weird and kinda lost track of my point im going to go pass out and hopefully this makes sense in the morning.
Im cold. Givin i DID lay in the rain. My back is all wet, and now im curled up into a little ball on the couch, how cute is that? I should really be in bed but am i? no. Im a badass, tomorrow is my first full day if calling. I want to pass out, but then again i dont. Im just rambling, so...
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timtoxic:
Night. 
Attraction---lust---passion---beyond this it gets far more complicated.
obcession---jealousy---emotions---fear---hate---resent---
frustration--weep
stand still moment --- content --- safe --- trust --- faith---hope---laugh--...love
Simple words, shortened list. None the less, never this orginized. Except with the first 3. Those are the only rule. So when tossed into a blender of personalitys and baggage, past and present, action and reaction....how long before it breaks.
---snap----
Throw your heart in...
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obcession---jealousy---emotions---fear---hate---resent---
frustration--weep
stand still moment --- content --- safe --- trust --- faith---hope---laugh--...love
Simple words, shortened list. None the less, never this orginized. Except with the first 3. Those are the only rule. So when tossed into a blender of personalitys and baggage, past and present, action and reaction....how long before it breaks.
---snap----
Throw your heart in...
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timtoxic:
So very true.
So, I dont know what brought it up maybe my mixed thoughts on things at the moment, but something compelled me to tell drew how i really felt on the steven situation, and...then i started trying to explain it and realised i had no idea. I have no idea what im talking about, or feeling for that matter. It just kinda came out in contridicting...
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So you either banned me from commenting in your journal or my web just sucks today, in any case...i write this assuming you are talking about me when you said:
".and now I only use it to vent and talk negative about my life...so its not really all bad and there are some good things I should be saying but just havn't I guess....some how...
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".and now I only use it to vent and talk negative about my life...so its not really all bad and there are some good things I should be saying but just havn't I guess....some how...
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timtoxic:
Some people you just can't please. If they want to be this kind of an ass then let them be one with someone else. There is always a sucker in the world for this mentality. There are plenty of things to worry about then a self-indulged friend. Real friends come first. 
What is this new job you speak of ?
Oh, I am drinking a white russian right now so, yea, I added another work. LOL. Carried heavy cabinets up stairs at OSU today.
What is this new job you speak of ?
Oh, I am drinking a white russian right now so, yea, I added another work. LOL. Carried heavy cabinets up stairs at OSU today.
lysondra:
lol woah what?
And
Yeah i wrote a more updated post on the whole him thing, but as for the job NorthWest Direct. Im so nervous to go on the phones i could vomit.
And
Yeah i wrote a more updated post on the whole him thing, but as for the job NorthWest Direct. Im so nervous to go on the phones i could vomit.
I start a new job today, im so nervous i could vomit. My friend is meeting me for breakfast tho that makes me happy. =)! hmm. I should get off my ass. Will i? Prolly eventually. Anyway, so he offered to give me a ride to work every morning that he could, see my work is 2 miles from a bus stop and i have...
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french_frog:
Poor Thing. Just do yoga, try reflexology or take some PCP, this will relax you. 
lysondra:
lol. thanks. Gimmie some. I actually took my adderall and it gives me a "false sense of well being" but helps nothing for the nerves since it is pretty much speed..thus parinoia.
Woo. Lys got in one hell of a mood today. I told steven off who had it comming for a great while now. I felt much better. Then I hung out with my friend all day, theeeen i did math at his house. Then he drove me home. It was actually really cool, we did 100 all the way to his house, or close to...
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timtoxic:
adderal and zoloft - for the mind.
colchicine and allopurinal - for the kidneys.
Not sure of the spelling on these but makes me feel .
colchicine and allopurinal - for the kidneys.
Not sure of the spelling on these but makes me feel
.
lysondra:
i take adderall! There is a warning that says "may cause a false sense of well being"
Nice pics btw