Some of my dearest friends have turned me into a scotch drinker. My other dear friends are disgusted.
Last night I was a little upset, so I decided to go out with some people and see the Borat movie. Only it was sold out. So we went to a bar instead. I drank, because I was unhappy, which is always a bad plan. I proved to myself that I was a Stone Cold Fox, which I definitely needed, and then I came home and cried and was unable to sleep, threw up my bad-decisions-alcohol and began to worry about the bad-decisions bad decisions i'd made. I called in sick and told my dad that I wouldn't be coming for dinner because I was feeling ill because I got mad and drank too much and was feeling the reprocussions. I've been feeling strangely gaunt. It's me dissociating, which I do in strange ways sometimes. Yesterday I noticed a decrease in back fat. Yes, you do want to hear this, sit down and shut up. (ok maybe i'm lying) And since then I've been feeling really skinny. It's not as though I feel necessarily prettier, I just kind of feel like there's less of me and I'm not sure what to do with that. I keep feeling like standing in the shower. But somehow, that feels like running away, and although that makes no sense to me at all whatsoever, I'm willing to run with it, and wait until I'm going to the shower for more positive reasons.
Someone told me she wished she could be me. I've never heard anyone say that in real life before, let alone to me, and didn't really know what to say. I like the idea that beauty is primarily attitude and believe myself to be a fairly good actress, which is fun because then I can make myself pretty at a whim.
Tap tap.
"Sorry to steal you away from your friends, can I ask you a question?.... If I gave you my number, would you call me?"
He steps back, begins to grin. The three friends around him say chime in together, "that's a yes! that's a yes! say yes dammit!"
Last night I was a little upset, so I decided to go out with some people and see the Borat movie. Only it was sold out. So we went to a bar instead. I drank, because I was unhappy, which is always a bad plan. I proved to myself that I was a Stone Cold Fox, which I definitely needed, and then I came home and cried and was unable to sleep, threw up my bad-decisions-alcohol and began to worry about the bad-decisions bad decisions i'd made. I called in sick and told my dad that I wouldn't be coming for dinner because I was feeling ill because I got mad and drank too much and was feeling the reprocussions. I've been feeling strangely gaunt. It's me dissociating, which I do in strange ways sometimes. Yesterday I noticed a decrease in back fat. Yes, you do want to hear this, sit down and shut up. (ok maybe i'm lying) And since then I've been feeling really skinny. It's not as though I feel necessarily prettier, I just kind of feel like there's less of me and I'm not sure what to do with that. I keep feeling like standing in the shower. But somehow, that feels like running away, and although that makes no sense to me at all whatsoever, I'm willing to run with it, and wait until I'm going to the shower for more positive reasons.
Someone told me she wished she could be me. I've never heard anyone say that in real life before, let alone to me, and didn't really know what to say. I like the idea that beauty is primarily attitude and believe myself to be a fairly good actress, which is fun because then I can make myself pretty at a whim.
Tap tap.
"Sorry to steal you away from your friends, can I ask you a question?.... If I gave you my number, would you call me?"
He steps back, begins to grin. The three friends around him say chime in together, "that's a yes! that's a yes! say yes dammit!"
I also like Scotch. I lke single malts in the summertime when they're warm and the flavors are exploding. But I never drink them wtih the intent of getting massively drunk. Excessive scotch would be the most unpleasant way of getting drunk, it seems to me. Beer overworks your bladder, but wine is a good compromise of alcohol content and drinkability.
I wonder if maybe Stone Cold Fox is a west cost term, as this is the first time i've encountered it. I don't get out much so maybe not.
I guess for me death, or the passage of time, when I'm not confronting the recent death of someone I know, is just another pressure, like money or cultural pressure to think or do certain things, standing over my shoulder disapproving of what I decide to do with my time. I would imagine that it would be different for you, as you seem to have a more open heart than mine, and the death of relatives and other people you know will inevieably hit you harder, even if you do not want it to.