lyris

Holy shit. I'm in California. I was going to take the drive down slowly, but ended up being anxious and cranky and surprisingly able to drive for 12 hour stretches, so it only took two days. The first day was ridiculously long because we happened to make a five hour detour. It was a test run, that's all. About 130 miles down I-5, I realized that I'd forgotten my bike. I decided it was worth getting and returned, but it was pretty ridiculous. The trailer wanted to go about 45 (according to the stickers it sported). By the time we were in Cali, I was comfortable pushing it to 70, but at the beginning, I was really only going 55.

So now I'm existing at my best friend's house for a bit. We'll all be moving into a new place next month, so my boxes are all unopened in the garage and I'm living simply. I'm looking for jobs and should, as I write this, be writing my resume. I'm applying to horrible jobs that make me worry that I'm sacrificing my potential in some way, but I have to keep framing it as allowing myself to do my art and to not get caught up in the office spiral. I had a moment of panic yesterday somehow deciding that the people I admire will not be able to respect my decision to do this. That totally freaked me out. I don't know why I started thinking about that, but I didn't like it. So anyway, I'm applying to a coffee shop, a stationary store, and the coolest hang out in town as a cook. It would be so cool to convince them they should hire me as a cook. We'll see how that pans out.

My mom's birthday is this weekend and then we're driving down to San Diego to visit my grandmother. She's getting worse.

This is all very strange.