lyris

Here's a question off OKCupid. Yeah. Shutup.

All relationships require compromise. Whose? Yours or theirs?

This, I am finding is a very very fucking important question. I look at this and it doesn't take me very long to say (resoundingly) that it is indeed MY compromise that is required. However, and here comes the important part, I would like to assert that no matter who I am, it takes my compromise. In other words, healthy, happy relationships require that both parties assume that it is their own compromise that is required. Because it is. Compromise means definitionally that both sides are giving a little in order to solve the dispute. This is what relationships require, not one person giving in. Not one person being an arrogant prick and assuming that the other is wrong.

Can you tell this is hitting a little close to home? That I'm not simply spouting this for lack of anything else to do with my time?

Additionally, I believe that embedded in the statement "all relationships require compromise" is something important that goes beyond the idea that major, relationship-threatening disputes must be resolved by consession and agreement on both sides. I believe that every single fucking thing requires compromise. We are, however unfortunately, social beings. (This is part of why SG is so cool, and you should go readAl's journal right now for a thoughtful exploration into the socially rewarding aspects of SG.) And in order to function well in any social interaction, both parties must understand that their own thoughts and feelings, however valid (as in acceptable as cogent, not True, necessarily), are not necessarily the thoughts and feelings of others and that theirs are also valid and require concideration.

So fuck you. I have a dictionary. I'm intelligent and attractive and you can suck my fucking cock if you would dain to assume that because I am willing to concede or to make allowances, that I am wrong.

I am no pushover. I simply try to be nice.