lyoness

So I've been through a lot in this little life of mine. Right now I'm musing on this as I listen to my lover snore softly in the background. I found a piece from a long time ago, in which I beg for better days. Kind of soppy to begin with, but I liked the message, so'z I decided to post. Enjoy, comments and criticism welcome.


"How to Breath"

My heart hit rock bottom
And I am blind to the brighter side
The only way out
Seems to be suicide.
A fistful of pills
Smells like sweet relief
I make the decision
To cut my life beautifully brief.
I am buckling under the pressure
Depression making me weak.
"I'm scared,"
I croaked to the world at large
Through my thick sloppy tears
Reality is manifesting all my greatest fears.
All manners of fluids leak from my face
Like a wrung sponge.
I've committed this crime
That cannot be undone.
A pair of latex hands brings the greased tube
Into my blurred vision.
They feed it down my pink fleshy throat
With neither poise nor precision
And I'm wondering why I made
Such a horrible decision.
The thick syrupy charcoal coats my throat
I vomit, I gag, I resist, I choke.
The prick of an IV
Injecting a dose of reality
And I realize for the first time
That night I died
And was born anew.
Born into a new life
After all the suffering I've been through.
In this new life I take nothing for granted
Regret nothing I've done
In this new life I will grow
I will become someone.
This is my second chance
My chance to learn to live
Learn what I need
Learn to be open
And learn how to breathe.


-Fran Lyon