Thursday Jan 29, 2009

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So my girl just took a pregnancy test and it came back positive. Wow. It's way too early to tell people, but I had to say something somewhere or my head was going to pop right off my shoulders.
fairys:
Congrats honey!
lyfetyme:
Thanks.....

Tuesday Apr 08, 2008

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That discounted year membership will get you everytime. I'm back for at least a year. I thought that I was going to have some kind of stuffy holier than though moment where the prospect of (beautiful) tattooed women somehow prevented the expansion of my heart and soul as a child of buddha. And though upon further review, it probably does, there is so much more...
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Wednesday Sep 26, 2007

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i felt trapped more yesterday than i have in a really long time. My wallet should've had a chain on it so it could strangle me and complete the metaphor. It's the money, It's always the money. I get it. but I got fucking slugged yesterday by someone who's supposed to have my back. So this is it. no more complaining about money. It you...
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Wednesday Sep 19, 2007

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It's 4:47 am. I haven't slept yet. I HAVE checked my email, updated all my online profiles, balanced my checkbook, and watched sports center. All in the name of procrastination. I haven't finished my reading yet. I've been working on it, taking breaks, then working on it some more. but my 8:40 class is rocketing towards me, and I'm not finished. Hopefully I'll make it....
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Sunday Sep 16, 2007

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They put me in charge at work again today. It drives me fucking crazy. There's no way that i should be opening and closing. I'm gonna be the youngest there, by 20 years, and I'M in charge, paid the least, and will probably be left there alone because (again), as soon as 4 o'clock rolls around and They take off out the door, leaving me...
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Friday Sep 14, 2007

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I've made huge mistake. I've traded in part of my soul.....for what? to be noticed? to cling on to something I have no business wanting, let alone having? I think I'm incapable of learning any kind of lesson at all.

Visited amanda's friend jill and her beau brandon. They just bought a house in Keyport. "We're never giong to have a house". great. In a...
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luke2917:
Yeah stretching is good.
What part of something do you have no part in? Why would you trade your soul for?
lyfetyme:
I wouldn't (hopefully). That's the problem. I doubt my motivations for certain things. of which i am not at liberty to say at the moment, or i would've just made it a private entry. But suffice it to say, there's a tree. And on this tree there is an apple. This apple represents something. From time to time, I think about what it might mean to take a bite. How bad could one little bite be. But then i realize that the apple is alive, and probably doesn't want to be bitten (at least not by me.) and i stress over the feelings of inadequacy that come from that. Now lets say there's another tree. this one has peaches. These peaches NEED to be eaten. And they're throwing themselves at me like i'm one of the "save the children" kids. but I'm not hungry for peaches.....
Take all of that, subtract all the overtly sexual tones to it. And that's what i'm going through.
Thanks for reading by the way. I didn't think anyone did.

Sunday Sep 02, 2007

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it's funny seeing friends after so long. I can't really put it into words. I'm glad I didn't keep touch. Saying it doesn't make me terrible. The decisions I've made shaped me into who i am. I'm flawed, but worth sticking around. If I'd gone the other route, there's no telling how bad I'd be now. Dead, probably. At the very least, alone, and hopeless,...
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Monday Aug 27, 2007

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AAAAAHHHHHH.
glorious glorious anonymity. I'm at work, and i want to type absolutely everything. About my doubts about myself (job,school,body). About others. (girl,friends,family) I honestly don't know where to start. But there's a huge weight off my shoulders. Not that I'm talking to any real person. But Fuck it feels good to vent.

Saturday Apr 15, 2006

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journal updated....
i think i need to be more active on here.
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