update 7:29pm
after talking with a few more people I respect on and offline, i think i'm going to call this one off. I still dont agree with alot of things around this topic, but maybe my view was skewed by personal bias more than I thought it was.
I am fustrated with my current relationship-al world. I do not think that I am a "nice guy" but more of a decent human being that is worth the attention that he puts out when it comes to all relationships, but feel that I'm getting nowhere near that. I feel I stretch my neck out for people of my own choice and then rarely get reciprocation. It's something i've always struggled with.
It's easy to blame it on others, and sometimes it's even correct. However, I use that blame enough, I forget to add myself into the collective blame game and just prefer to protect my own (sanity? self image? pride?) at a subconsious level.
Is "i'm subconsiously protecting myself from pain" all there was to the whole theory? No. I can't believe that blame completely lies with my idea because there's way to many stories, way too many guys of all types and levels of emotional maturity for it not to hold some merit. Conclusion 1: Nice is Never enough is still in debate for me. Is nice not enough because it's only an ingredient in a bigger "datable guy" stew? Is it not enough because of something else.
in any case, i'm eager to move on to something else and to avoid any flaming, so i'll cut this short.
I'm leaving the post intact below as my own reminder to myself to look in the mirror.
Stick with me here... I might actually make sense.
A few days ago, I made a long blog concerning my complete fustration with the notion of girls who want "a nice guy", but stupidly deleted it before posting. To summarize:
Conclusion 1: Nice is never enough.
Conclusion 2: Those girls that want "a nice guy" are almost always attracted to the asshole type while using true nice guys as their sounding board/Dick in a Glass Case (in case of emergency... break glass!).
(note: conclusions were made after thinking over 7 years personal experience as well as opinions from trusted sources. All conclusions were made without aid of tequila or other substances)
However, most out there know that conclusion without proof is only theory. As such, I have decided that my theories must be tested.
I shall become an asshole.
That said, what exactly is an asshole? Is it a style of dress? of speech? a certain set of ethics and morals? Is it the way one carries himself or is it a way that he reacts to the presence of others that makes one an asshole?
To begin an experiment, one must have a theory to prove (done) a setting (e.g. a downtown club), a variable group (me as an asshole) and a control group (me at said club on a different night as "nice guy" or other similar person at club the same night) and the ingredients to perform the experiment.
I need the ingredients of an asshole.
Let me rephrase that.
I need the ingredients of an asshole-type of person.
So, then, we come back to the question: what makes one an asshole?
This is where personal bias introduces itself. I cannot answer what makes an asshole by myself alone as my definition of asshole will differ from that of you, the reader, or of anyone else I meet. For the sake of argument, I'll divide my personal definiton of asshole into it's individual ingredients:
Style (manner of dress, type of clothing, jewlery)
Behaviour (in terms of honesty vs. decit, the effect of personal motives on all actions, general behaviour in social situations, etc)
Grooming/Body Type/Personal Habits (i.e. hairstyle, scent of choice, visual presence of muscles vs. fat, smoker, drug use, drinks to excess, etc)
Attitude and interaction with others (i.e. "I'm better than you", "You're not worth my time because you're...." or "I don't give a fuck". Self-centered, egotistic, etc)
It is here that I open the floor to you. Yes you reading right now. I need opinions on what makes someone an asshole. Go ahead and leave me comments, messasges, whatever, with what you think. did I leave something out? let me know!
after talking with a few more people I respect on and offline, i think i'm going to call this one off. I still dont agree with alot of things around this topic, but maybe my view was skewed by personal bias more than I thought it was.
I am fustrated with my current relationship-al world. I do not think that I am a "nice guy" but more of a decent human being that is worth the attention that he puts out when it comes to all relationships, but feel that I'm getting nowhere near that. I feel I stretch my neck out for people of my own choice and then rarely get reciprocation. It's something i've always struggled with.
It's easy to blame it on others, and sometimes it's even correct. However, I use that blame enough, I forget to add myself into the collective blame game and just prefer to protect my own (sanity? self image? pride?) at a subconsious level.
Is "i'm subconsiously protecting myself from pain" all there was to the whole theory? No. I can't believe that blame completely lies with my idea because there's way to many stories, way too many guys of all types and levels of emotional maturity for it not to hold some merit. Conclusion 1: Nice is Never enough is still in debate for me. Is nice not enough because it's only an ingredient in a bigger "datable guy" stew? Is it not enough because of something else.
in any case, i'm eager to move on to something else and to avoid any flaming, so i'll cut this short.
I'm leaving the post intact below as my own reminder to myself to look in the mirror.
Stick with me here... I might actually make sense.
A few days ago, I made a long blog concerning my complete fustration with the notion of girls who want "a nice guy", but stupidly deleted it before posting. To summarize:
Conclusion 1: Nice is never enough.
Conclusion 2: Those girls that want "a nice guy" are almost always attracted to the asshole type while using true nice guys as their sounding board/Dick in a Glass Case (in case of emergency... break glass!).
(note: conclusions were made after thinking over 7 years personal experience as well as opinions from trusted sources. All conclusions were made without aid of tequila or other substances)
However, most out there know that conclusion without proof is only theory. As such, I have decided that my theories must be tested.
I shall become an asshole.
That said, what exactly is an asshole? Is it a style of dress? of speech? a certain set of ethics and morals? Is it the way one carries himself or is it a way that he reacts to the presence of others that makes one an asshole?
To begin an experiment, one must have a theory to prove (done) a setting (e.g. a downtown club), a variable group (me as an asshole) and a control group (me at said club on a different night as "nice guy" or other similar person at club the same night) and the ingredients to perform the experiment.
I need the ingredients of an asshole.
Let me rephrase that.
I need the ingredients of an asshole-type of person.
So, then, we come back to the question: what makes one an asshole?
This is where personal bias introduces itself. I cannot answer what makes an asshole by myself alone as my definition of asshole will differ from that of you, the reader, or of anyone else I meet. For the sake of argument, I'll divide my personal definiton of asshole into it's individual ingredients:
Style (manner of dress, type of clothing, jewlery)
Behaviour (in terms of honesty vs. decit, the effect of personal motives on all actions, general behaviour in social situations, etc)
Grooming/Body Type/Personal Habits (i.e. hairstyle, scent of choice, visual presence of muscles vs. fat, smoker, drug use, drinks to excess, etc)
Attitude and interaction with others (i.e. "I'm better than you", "You're not worth my time because you're...." or "I don't give a fuck". Self-centered, egotistic, etc)
It is here that I open the floor to you. Yes you reading right now. I need opinions on what makes someone an asshole. Go ahead and leave me comments, messasges, whatever, with what you think. did I leave something out? let me know!
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
yeah it is hard to want to interuppt someone's drama and say, hey i got my issues too...but i know with me, that i'm always willing to listen. because in the end, it means more that i heard them then just bitch about my life.
Goes with everything. Yes, even suits if a guy is so inclined. I don't have those but MANY people I know do, or have.
I wear black shirts and normal jeans typically, so that I can wear any color shoes and it just doesn't look dumb. I wear my grey/neon green Vans more than my black and yellow ones (affectionately called the bumblebee vans)... and they just OWN. I want those Adios SO goddamn bad though.
Oh shoes. I love them and I miss getting new ones. Being poor sucks. (and by poor I mean I live but I don't get nice things very often.) damn it all.