I sit here and I wonder:
why is my friends list so empty?
The answer simply comes in three parts
1) I do not do much to fill it.
I have, and probably always will be, a lurker. The outgoing, funny guy is usually reserved for someone meeting me in person. I am best in conversation, in give and take. In boards and such, I read and if I have something that I can offer, I post. I do post thanks and such in journals and when SG's launch a new set, but other than that? Nada. I should probably work on that.
2) I'm "it's an emotional issue" shy.
Yes it seems like a re-hash of no.1 but hear me out. I am pretty much terrified of reaching out to someone and getting a knife in my hand. It goes back to alot of tihs that i'm still dealing with from being young and weird. I don't feel that I always fit in here. I'm into alot of the things people on this site are into, but not everthing. I dont "look the part" either. I'm too weird for norms, too norm for the alts. I have found some great people here, but sometimes you just dont know if you're still on the outside looking in you know?
3) I prefer to be persued.
I do like people coming up to me instead of going out there like an insecure ass-munch and trying to strike up strange conversation. I feel much more confident in being the person to come to and, to be selfish and blunt, it's just nice to be wanted, to think that someone saw something in you enough to come up and say hello.
so i guess all it adds up to is that I'm an insecure, fucked up, selfish person.
Join the club, huh?
The next time you're out at a club and someone walks up to you and tries to have a conversation, dont just blow them off, that person just might be me
why is my friends list so empty?
The answer simply comes in three parts
1) I do not do much to fill it.
I have, and probably always will be, a lurker. The outgoing, funny guy is usually reserved for someone meeting me in person. I am best in conversation, in give and take. In boards and such, I read and if I have something that I can offer, I post. I do post thanks and such in journals and when SG's launch a new set, but other than that? Nada. I should probably work on that.
2) I'm "it's an emotional issue" shy.
Yes it seems like a re-hash of no.1 but hear me out. I am pretty much terrified of reaching out to someone and getting a knife in my hand. It goes back to alot of tihs that i'm still dealing with from being young and weird. I don't feel that I always fit in here. I'm into alot of the things people on this site are into, but not everthing. I dont "look the part" either. I'm too weird for norms, too norm for the alts. I have found some great people here, but sometimes you just dont know if you're still on the outside looking in you know?
3) I prefer to be persued.
I do like people coming up to me instead of going out there like an insecure ass-munch and trying to strike up strange conversation. I feel much more confident in being the person to come to and, to be selfish and blunt, it's just nice to be wanted, to think that someone saw something in you enough to come up and say hello.
so i guess all it adds up to is that I'm an insecure, fucked up, selfish person.
Join the club, huh?
The next time you're out at a club and someone walks up to you and tries to have a conversation, dont just blow them off, that person just might be me