luxdivon

such an interesting concept. and so weighted in emotional girth. who are we to be loyal to? I've had a great contemplative conversation this afternoon with my sis. she wholeheartdly believes god is the only person to give your loyalty to. all other things can end up being scewed. should you be loyal to your job? obviously there are things you should be loyal to. like your loved ones. but even that isnt a black and white issue. not when it comes to emotional abuse. or physical. or sexual. then the loyalty should be with yourself, and no other. are we being decietful in having our own motives? is it moral to live a life 'as a means to and end' (i think that's the right phrase, i always get confused) if you say you want to do everything you're doing, but only as a means to get the resources so you can walk right out the door to do what you want, is that deceit? loyalty is indeed a nonsenical thing. your possessions. my possessions. i'm loyal to them. i consider them in my decisions. they have precedence over other things, even people (say if they were acquantices) in my life. what other kinds of things are we loyal to? are we loyal to our bad habits too? its not something that's helping us. yet we dont give them up. we consider even our habits an act of loyalty or betrayal. such strong words. but if you were to be asked to give up that bad habit, that addiction, what gut impulse would you feel? i'd feel betrayal. like i'm betraying that part of myself, that i dont want to give up yet. people think things like loyalty, betrayal, honesty and deceit, only apply to the world around them. <i>outside</i> of them. its more so evident within yourself, the things you give more weight to in your life, do put that weight. well put, as is so well known, the things you own, end up owning you. of course they do. how do they own you? how much of you do they own? we dont like to think about these things. i know. i'm being a hypocrite in that my addiction is net. maybe that's why i'm writing this. how loyal am i to it? how much of my life does it consume? there's the push and pull of what you gain from it, and what you lose from it. i've been loyal to things in my life that have brought me nothing but strife. i've been loyal to times and places and clothes, and people, and attitudes and decisions, and food, and sex and everything else. but its not <i>really</i> that concrete, is it. lets not be loyal to the things that bring us death. lets not even be loyal at all. if we're not to be loyal, than how is it that we choose? loyalty strips the right of choice. the right to decide at any moment that there is a better path. roads weren't paved just to go one way. it is very powerful to understand but more importantly to utilize the concept of 'choice at any given moment'. my head right now is going off into fifteen million different directions, so i think i'll stop now. i'd love any thoughts or mail concerning this, being that its what has been on my mind of late.