luxdeadfrog

I have a personality problem that people sometimes think I'm serious when I'm not and sometimes think I'm joking when I'm serious. A perfect example was when I had a stroke at work a few years back, I didn't know what had happened but the left side of my body was totally paralised, I had just stood up after a meeting and everyone else had gone so I was just standing there holding on to the back of a chair when a girl I knew walked in to prepare for the next meeting. She spoke and I tried to answer but instead of normal speach it was more like chimpanzee jibbering, at that point I thought "now it's only eight paces to the door, you can get that far" but as soon as I let go of the chair I just fell over and lay there unable to move. Well of course she thought I was mucking about, when I didn't answer she came and stood right over me and said "Lux please tell me you are joking, oh i don't know what to do, you are joking aren't you?" Well my vision and thinking were fine, I just couldn't talk or move so I was looking right up her skirt and loving it as she was drop dead gorgeous. Now this was a situation that could have killed me and all I was thinking was "with half my body paralised, what would happen if I got an erection right now". Anyway that didn't happen, the paralysis was only temporary and the hospital found a twisted artery in my brain that had caused the problem and surgery fixed it. The Doctors said they had no idea why the artery was twisted and didn't like my theory of it being caused by a twisted mind.

When I told the story after my recovery my sister started crying and said "you could have died, why couldn't you at least take that seriously?" and I replied "there was no point in stressing about it at the time, there was nothing I was capable of doing except take full advantage of the positive in the situation which is what I did and lay there blissfully looking up Angie's skirt.", at that she ran out of the room crying even more. Well at least I now know how to make my sister cry.

Ever since then I have always believed there is a positive in every situation and if people come to me with what seem to them to be huge problems, I say let's sit down and look for a positive and there always is one.

Shit, that last paragraph sounded a bit like the conclusion of the christian hour, didn't it? Just mail in your donation in used $50.00 notes to Jim, box O410E, Jonestown, Guyana. Rys, where are you darling? Rys! Come and put a collar and leash on your God please, he's starting to follow me around. Oh no, now he's pissed on my leg! RYS!

Did you hear about the dislexic agnostic? Went right through life wondering if there really was a doG.

Lux