I know it sounds really selfish and horrible but I realized the other day that I wouldn't be in the situation that I'm in now if my Mom and ex fiance hadn't fucked everything up
And now a look into my past. . .My Mom started abusing morphine when I was 9 she used for 4 years and finally got help when I caught her and confronted her. . 5 years go by she's doing really well she has her life back on track and then after having surgery on her arm she relapses and starts stealing pain killers from her job (She was a pharmacy tech for a huge home health care company) She gets caught on tape stealing, gets arrested, and then decides to go back to rehab. Months go by and she cant get a job anywhere. . .my brother and sister in law are helping us financially and then they told her that they couldn't help anymore but if she wanted there was always a place in their house for us . . In July of last year we took them up on that offer and moved in because I couldn't afford to pay the rent and because she wasn't working I was the only source of income . . . after two weeks of living there my ex fiance and I found an apartment that we could afford and moved in . . . after two months I ended up pregnant and he started using drugs again (he didn't know I was pregnant). .. .I warned him that I would leave but I never did and then I caught him freebasing crack in the neighbors apartment and freaked out and had a miscarriage, tried to kill myself, ended up in the psych ward and now I'm here. It's been 5 months today that I got out of the hospital, a very long 5 months of walking on eggshells so as not to piss anyone off so I could still have a place to stay.
And now I just feel like if they wouldn't have started using again I wouldn't have moved in with Shauna and her mom, and I wouldn't be contemplating living in my car.
And now a look into my past. . .My Mom started abusing morphine when I was 9 she used for 4 years and finally got help when I caught her and confronted her. . 5 years go by she's doing really well she has her life back on track and then after having surgery on her arm she relapses and starts stealing pain killers from her job (She was a pharmacy tech for a huge home health care company) She gets caught on tape stealing, gets arrested, and then decides to go back to rehab. Months go by and she cant get a job anywhere. . .my brother and sister in law are helping us financially and then they told her that they couldn't help anymore but if she wanted there was always a place in their house for us . . In July of last year we took them up on that offer and moved in because I couldn't afford to pay the rent and because she wasn't working I was the only source of income . . . after two weeks of living there my ex fiance and I found an apartment that we could afford and moved in . . . after two months I ended up pregnant and he started using drugs again (he didn't know I was pregnant). .. .I warned him that I would leave but I never did and then I caught him freebasing crack in the neighbors apartment and freaked out and had a miscarriage, tried to kill myself, ended up in the psych ward and now I'm here. It's been 5 months today that I got out of the hospital, a very long 5 months of walking on eggshells so as not to piss anyone off so I could still have a place to stay.
And now I just feel like if they wouldn't have started using again I wouldn't have moved in with Shauna and her mom, and I wouldn't be contemplating living in my car.