I was always told growing up meant finally being able to shape you life like you want it to be. I never thought it would be so... I want to say hard, but it just sounds whinny and not really what I'm looking for. It's complicated.
Growing up you're told to do what you want. Not to care about what others thinks and to just go for it. But at a certain point you can't just ignore every body around. My good friend has a new girlfriend and she gets really mad every time he mention me because we dated a while back. So he stopped talking about me. And I got mixed feeling. I should be glad she didn't request he kicked me out of his life. But at the same time, knowing I'm just not a part of his life he shares with the person he loves the most on the planet... makes me feel little and insignificant, I guess. I know there's a 1000 ways I could see this: he didn't stop seeing me so I must be important, or bla bla bla. Whatever.
My point is, I don't understand. I've never felt threaten by someone else to the point of being jealous or demanding that my bf stop being in contact. I just figure, if he wants to be with someone else, he wouldn't be with me. But most people around me are totally 100% with the girlfriend. And they don't understand why I can't see this is weird and uncomfortable. And to them that's just life: you find a mate, you're circle of friends gets smaller, you have babies and a good job and you,re happy. Like always I'm simplifying, I know it's bigger then this but you see the point. I want to specify I'm not saying this is not a good way of seeing life. I've see tones of people happy with it. But I've tried it and I'm not.
I'm not happy with this way of seeing life. So I should tell myself I can make my life whatever I want. But I can't. Because in real life you don't stay friend with you're ex. In really life you can't have a serious bf and spend that much time with you're friends. In really life friends find "the one" and you nearly never see them ever again untill they get dumped. And it doesn't matter what I want. Building the life you want is ok when you're not that sociable to start with. But else...
Someone told me it's just because I haven't found the one myself. And that part of the reason why is that I'm not moving on with my life and I'm trying to stay in an adolescence sort of phase. How do you know? When do you stop telling you're self you're gonna find someone that loves you just the way you are. When do you just start to fallow the "rules" everyone around you fallow. How do you know if you're just being a baby, or if you're just one of the very few that really wants to find what makesthem happy in life.
Growing up you're told to do what you want. Not to care about what others thinks and to just go for it. But at a certain point you can't just ignore every body around. My good friend has a new girlfriend and she gets really mad every time he mention me because we dated a while back. So he stopped talking about me. And I got mixed feeling. I should be glad she didn't request he kicked me out of his life. But at the same time, knowing I'm just not a part of his life he shares with the person he loves the most on the planet... makes me feel little and insignificant, I guess. I know there's a 1000 ways I could see this: he didn't stop seeing me so I must be important, or bla bla bla. Whatever.
My point is, I don't understand. I've never felt threaten by someone else to the point of being jealous or demanding that my bf stop being in contact. I just figure, if he wants to be with someone else, he wouldn't be with me. But most people around me are totally 100% with the girlfriend. And they don't understand why I can't see this is weird and uncomfortable. And to them that's just life: you find a mate, you're circle of friends gets smaller, you have babies and a good job and you,re happy. Like always I'm simplifying, I know it's bigger then this but you see the point. I want to specify I'm not saying this is not a good way of seeing life. I've see tones of people happy with it. But I've tried it and I'm not.
I'm not happy with this way of seeing life. So I should tell myself I can make my life whatever I want. But I can't. Because in real life you don't stay friend with you're ex. In really life you can't have a serious bf and spend that much time with you're friends. In really life friends find "the one" and you nearly never see them ever again untill they get dumped. And it doesn't matter what I want. Building the life you want is ok when you're not that sociable to start with. But else...
Someone told me it's just because I haven't found the one myself. And that part of the reason why is that I'm not moving on with my life and I'm trying to stay in an adolescence sort of phase. How do you know? When do you stop telling you're self you're gonna find someone that loves you just the way you are. When do you just start to fallow the "rules" everyone around you fallow. How do you know if you're just being a baby, or if you're just one of the very few that really wants to find what makesthem happy in life.
jennrose:
either she needs to get over it or you need to wear some awesome dresses that make her boil over with jealousy. i vote the latter, if we get to see the dresses. 
grayness:
Happy New Year- and I'm with JennRose on the dresses. 