I remember the first Suicidegirl I saw. She was a sexy, Japanese Manga inspired girl. Zui. What I remember more is the way she made me feel. she was this confident, alternative power-house that wore her womanhood like a crown. Everything I would dream to be but felt I could never attain. Fast forward a couple of years, I meet @tarion through a mutual friend, the first real life Suicidegirl I have ever met. I am completely awe inspired and over a few month she and @talamia convince me that this dream could be mine. I shot my first set on the stairs of my folks house, completely oblivious to what was going on. I can still almost feel that anxiety of being naked in front of someone who was not going to have sex with me, along with it came a sense of power. I hated my body before that day and that day my life changed.
My journey with Suicidegirls had just begun. The site taught me the power of community, no matter what @missy remains the strong, leading character of this group of ladies that come together on this site. We are all here for different reasons. I came here for the validation and along the way realised that I didn't need it. I came here young and insecure and along the way I grew. The better part of my 20's were spent with this site. I grieved, I got bigger I got smaller, I dyed my hair and as my looks changed, so did I.
I write this now as a different person. I still battle my insecurities. I still love the attention of being told I am beautiful but I know who I am and who I want to be. I met @pluto a while back. We spent a lot of time getting to know each other, mostly naked while she studied photography, I loved working with her, she took beautiful photos but mostly because of the human that she is. I know Suicidegirls had been on her bucket list and a final set was something I had wanted to give this site the send off it deserves.
A few months ago we got together and made this magic and what will be my final Suicidegirls set. For anyone that has contributed to my journey in any way. This set is for you. @rambo Thank you for looking after me and the models here and @missy for giving me this platform to grow. <3
