lukebunny

Yesterday was an exercise in pushing limits. Mostly physical ones. This whole week has been about pushing bounderies, and redefining a worldview. I went with a guy that I am seeing while he turned a trick. I drove him and ran security. Sat in my car with my piece making sure nothing went wrong. Ready to burst in like the knight in shining armour that I am. He made $190 for letting a guy suck him off. He kicked some money down my way. I am sort of seeing 2 escorts now I suppose. Been considering the possibility myself. The legal and moral issues don't affect my thinking about it at all, just pure self preservation. Can I do that much sex for money and keep a healthy self view intact? The same problems with strippers I imagine. Nothing wrong inherently with sex work, just all about if you can keep yourself sane while you do it. Lots of thinking to do. Untill then I will be doing security work for them. I am all about casual/annonymous internet sex these days. I ended up emailing back and forth with a young lady about some stuff and she wanted to get together and fuck. Cool right? Well, she is 15. Now, first let me say that I did not do it. Then let me say that I lost my virginity at a pretty young age (if you read my comic you know that already....) and the majority of my sex was had between 14 and 17. The whole year that I was 18 I was celebit. The 18 year mark isn't a guideline for behavior at all. I fucking wished that I had the opportunity to fuck a 24 year old when I was 15....I was a horny kid. In fact when I was 16 I did start dating a 23 year old and it was an amazingly healthy experience. ANYWAY. Yeah, a 15 year old wanted to fuck me. Not sure if I would have, but it brought up some interesting questions. More and more I am living my life outside of the law, but inside a set of ethical rules. Where and what are my bounderies? Do I have any? Is 15 ok? What about 12? 8? It has to stop somewhere, but where? Pushing the bounderies of decency and acceptable behaviour is a worthwhile thing to be involved in. Have to be careful to not harm anyone else while I explore.

This goes along with my new found interest in drugs. No I have not started. I'm sure that last sentence cause a few heart palpitations. However, I am again wondering about them. Wondering what the benefits to me would be. Exploration and experimentation. I had an excellent conversation the other day with a friend about the fact that I am able to do the things that I do sexually, and have the interests and experiences that I do, all completely sober. I've never drunk fucked anyone. I never will. I do wonder about drugs. Right now it is mostly hallucinagins. Would the be a benefit to me, or a hinderence in my spiritual growth? My friend has done every drug there is. And I do mean EVERY DRUG. With all that he has done, he tends to think of hallucinagins as false enlightenment, or spiritual growth for free. The curiosity is there, but now it almost seems like experimenting at this stage would be a step back. I don't knock the people that like to play with them.

2 weeks to go and I will no longer be homeless. Can't wait. Getting a little ragged. No regular access to shower and shaving leaves me looking like a sketchy ass homeless guy. Which, I suppose I am. Yesterday I woke up at 5am to begin my work day. I ran out of money, and thus also ran out of food. So no early morning bannana for me. I worked an 8 hour shift. It was a very warm day. I got sweaty and light headed. A cute girl bought me some yummy iced tea cause she said I looked like I needed it. (thank you again avacado hand) And then I got attacked by a dog. A woman drove up with her dogs in the back, I asked if it was ok to pet them, she said yes. I put my hand up for him to sniff and the evil little child raping cujo dogfucker went to town and mauled my shit. I should have maybe got a stitch or 2, but I don't like dealing with that stuff. Put some bandages on and kept working. It hurt like shit all day yesterday, and quite a bit today so far too. Cleaned it out real good and disinfected it. Hopefully he didn't have rabies or anything. I guess we'll see. After work I went and helped my friend move, took a quick shower and went out dancing all night! By this point I am deleriously weak and exhausted. My friend had fed me some chips and guacamole. When I mixed that, with water, and lots of movement, the result was a geyser and I puked all over. And then...Yeah that's right, I danced some more. Then I met up with my lady friend and spent the night with her till 5am or so. 24 hours of insane body torture. How much can yours take? I ache in places I didn't know could concevably have aches. Good good times. I am normally quite a homebody, but with the living situation being what it has been for the last few months I've had no choice but to be out, doing stuff every single second of every day. It will be interesting to see what things are like when I have my own place.

Wow, this update jumped around a bit....Sorry for all the new age esoterica. and the filthy erotica. Using this as an outlet for thoughts and brain vomit. Feel free to be my sounding board loyal interwub friends.