lukass

I decided today that I'm not going to sit on the comfortable corporate gig too long. I was already of this opinion, but I will think back on today when I'm tempted to go for the easy and comfortable way in the future, which I am sure I will be. Today, I was talking to a coworker about a random idea we had for a game. It was a fucking good one too. Open City version of The Tick, complete with missions that destroy or mar the moon, nerdy and quirky as hell, but would have been awesome. After we finished, there was a pause. It hung uncomfortably and inferred, "Man, if only we could do that". That's what the video game industry is for most people these days, empty dreams of what you would do if you could, coupled with the need to hit the next deadline. You come in wanting to make crazy cool madhouse stuff that will make the world a little happier place and you end up making the next [fill in the genre] game. It's not that I feel that what I'm doing now has no merit, I am very much enjoying it and hoping it will last. I love the people I work with and the IP I get to play around with. I just feel like bureaucracy is starting to play such a big part in making the games that the crazy, amazing ideas get sidelined in favor of polls and easy sells. I'm not speaking universally here, of course. Katamari Damacy, the burgeoning casual and online game market, and hell, the Wii especially, are showing that innovation is viable.

I guess what I am going for here is simply this, I want games that push the envelope. I want to look back at something I've done and smile and have others wonder what the hell was the matter with my head that I thought up something like that. I want to make someone play my game and cry, laugh, or just feel so uncomfortable that they have to turn off their console and think for a minute about what just happened. Tom Robbins said once regarding what he wanted to do for his readers,

"Something more than words, " I replied. "Crystals. I want to send my reader armloads of crystals, some of which are the colors of orchids and peonies, some of which pick up radio signals from a secret city that is half Paris and half Coney Island."

He had it about right. I want to make magic for other people. I want to make them forget that they're trying desperately hard not to be kids every fucking day. I want to believe that somebody is looking at their illusionary picture box and for that one moment the childlike glee that the world tries like hell to stomp out of us might be shining through because of something I made.

A beer would be nice right about now, too.

/L