Hello out there,
Something brought me to this moment, where I felt as though writing a new post was a good idea, so here I am.
The last time that I was here was at the end of January, when I was just beginning my Yoga Teacher Training. Since then, I have ended it, along with having a very psychedelic year, and some huge internal shifts. Where do I start? Hmm...
Well, I guess I will start with where I was in January. I was mentally and physically preparing myself to shift into a new lifestyle, for majority of the year, after finding a Ganja friendly Yoga studio, and a kick ass Yoga teacher to teach me her ways. While going to her studio, I felt so welcome, so free to be myself, and there was a permeating level of mutual respect being sent from me to her, and from her to me. My teacher training was very smooth, and I was so inspired, then to learn as much as I could. It was easy to pick up on what she was laying down for her students, because I had the chance to attend her classes three times a week.
As the year progressed, I started to see some major shift of energy, moving through me, in subtle, and blatant ways. I was slowly starting to touch deeper layers of my heart, and soul, as I journeyed into subjects, topics, and connections with people that I had pushed down into my subconscious. For years, I had been pushing feelings aside, burring them under the rug, so to speak, and pretending as if I was as tough as a brick wall, unable to feel anything, unable to let anything affect me. Little did I know that I had created a very isolating four walls around me, throughout the years, and I finally got to see myself in this little room, all by myself. i had made it warm, and pleasant for me to live in, but, I knew that it wasn't a good idea to stay there. Practicing Yoga on a regular basis, and with Ganja was just such a treat for me, as it allowed me to really focus on filtering out all the crap that I had let emotionally, and psychologically build up inside of me.
Then in March, I had my first of two meetings with Ayahuasca, which was a big deal to me at the time. I had heard so much about it, but had nothing to compare experiences to. it turns out that I didn't need to worry about what had happened to anyone else, because, while I was going through this experience with ten other people, this was an intimate meeting with me and the sacred plant brew, and us two alone. After having my third serving, the room became very quiet, and as I lay over my crossed leg, contemplating if I had died, or not, I was shot up into the spiritual realm, totally detached from my body, and totally in tuned with millions of moments, thoughts, and feelings racing through me at top speeds. Then, i became curious, and asked myself, "I wonder what would happen if I was to leave this place, and not return...?" I then had a still moment pass through me, where I heard spirit communicate back to me, that, " No, its not your time yet, you have stuff to do here, and you want to be here." And, with that, I came back to my altered state of Being, back into the room, back into myself.
I was then cycling back, and forth between pot, mushrooms, and Aya, and started taking a small amount of mushrooms when I did yoga, on the special occasion. In May, I had a nice Birthday, and got to share my time with the friends I had been making at the Yoga studio. I became more confident in my abilities to teach, and flow in Yoga, and I also met up with my second meeting with Aya. This experience was very different, but it lead me to root down into my root chakra, and begin the process of clearing all of the junk that I had stored there; everything from family conditioning to my thoughts on survival, money, and whether or not I wanted to be on Earth. It was a very primal experience, yet I also grew to love, and really respect Ayahuasca for what she was able to do for me; open me up to face myself in honest, yet supportive ways. She was there to catch me, if I fell, but, I didn't need to fall. She was showing me how to let the universe flow through me with out me interrupting, skewing, and distorting how my life should blend with the will of the Universe. All was in harmony; all was just as it was suppose to be.
In June I had a pause in my Teacher training, as my teacher took her daughter to Europe. This is when I was able to be a little lighter on my pursuit of unconditioning, and look to other areas of my life that needed tending to. I quickly felt as though the place that I was living in had served its purpose, but didn't know how to leave, so I just enjoyed the summer that had come to greet the Northern Hemisphere, and connect with some friends that I hadn't been around for a while.
July, I was introduced to DMT, and Holy crap, was my first experience with it, INTENSE! Although it was a little overwhelming for me, on a conscious level, my subconscious was happy to have such an experience, for what I realized after my trip was that I have everything I need within me to thrive, answer my own questions, and to help uplift the world, if I so chose to do so. It was a two part session that I chose to pause, for a month, so I went back for my second trip in August. By this time, I had strong urging to go to the Yukon, as if the stars and the aurora Borialis were calling to me strongly. I had the most positive psychedelic experience while on my second trip of DMT, I went to the Yukon, as a bird; a hawk, and I further cleared out more of my subconscious programmings that were telling me that I couldn't do this, that or the other thing that I want to do. After this trip, things in my outside world, started to change very quickly!
In September, I had made the decision that it was time for me to move, not just to another neighborhood, but move out of the city. I had completed my Yoga teacher training by then, and took the rest of the month to prepare myself for the move that I was about to make. I kept this move silent, only telling a few of those who were closed to me at the time, and I had a friend who said that I could move in with her in a smaller town in Eastern Ontario. this friend is whom I consider to be a GREAT spiritual teacher, and since my arrival in this new place, I have graciously let go of all of my psychedelic friends, (pot, mushrooms, etc), and have heightened my own spiritual abilities, that have been dormant, or that have been taking a back seat, for a while. It has been here, where I have gone the deepest to clear the most of my childhood, traumas, let go of my past emotional baggage, and have come back into unison with myself. I am gaining insight into why I have lived the way I have, what it is preparing me for, and who I really am.
Now, I have so much respect for the ways in which the Earth turns, the ways in which the cycles move, and the significance in which I place myself upon the Universe. I am one human Being, who has learned that I have been given everything that I need to succeed; I don't need to search for it anywhere outside of myself, for I already have 'IT'. Everything happens for a reason, the good, the not so good, and the perplexing. If something is meant to be, it will be. I am taking a much needed break from the big city life that I have been living, in order to dig up my true self, so that I can let my inner child be happy, and lead the way to a happy rest of my life. No matter where i go, no matter what I experience, I am happy to go through it, I am happy to know that there is more to life than what meets the senses. Now is my time to get to know myself on an even deeper spiritual level, using my own energy, through my own special and unique ways. Now, it is my time to fortify the ways of Self Mastery- ultimately what I strive for in this life. For once I do this, I know that I will be able to help lift the world to a higher way of being, just like I intended to do before I was born.
I am someone who believes in Reincarnation, and that we choose our life path before we are born. Whether or not you agree with my views, ideas, and beliefs, I thank you for taking the time to read what I have put down here. This is just my way of checking in to SG, after being absent for a very long time.
Peace, and good day
