I've been quite active recently, but not with my blogs. I can't say that I'm sorry, because its been really hard to find the right words to blog down. However, I will attempt to put into words what life has had in store for me lately.
There has been a lot going on internally... which could actually translate quite well into an externally boring few months.
I haven't had much interaction with friends or family this past little while, but this has afforded me the opportunity for some SERIOUS self observation and reflection. And now, because of this, I am changing at a faster rate than I thought possible earlier this year.
Slowly, as I piece all of the puzzle that is my life together, I'm realizing this:
Quietly, I'm learning,
Slowly I'm growing,
More and more, I'm loving.
And yet, I still feel a 'net' of friction between myself and society.
I'm feeling as though society prompts us to take life as seriously as we can.
Do your best to fit in.
Mistakes are bad, and to some extent looked down upon. Yet, we are more likely to remember the bad things that people do, than the good they do.
Traditional ways of living, ( go to school, get a well paying job, work your way up the 'ladder' find a spouse to marry, have a family, live in a home that is surrounded by concrete/drywall/glass/brick on all sides)... I dunno. That all sounds lovely, but
WHAT IF you want to try living life a different way? I seem to run into dead ends when I attempt to ask a lot of people that question. Oh well, You can bet that in a few years from now, I will leave the city.
I'm sick and fucking tired of feeding a system that is diseased, and self serving. While the majority of us suffer just to get by, while at the same time we deal with such personal, and collective problems such as violence, outlets of misleading information, physical and mental disease, loss, betrayal, greed, addiction, and fear... Oooohhh Fear. Why I even let you into my psyche, I don't know, but I am devoting my life to ridding myself of it for good.
Before I get any further into this pent up rant, I will divert my course of thought into something more positive. :]
I'll start this by asking,
What is the opposite of fear?
Love. I'm starting to realize that one of the main goals of my life is to love. Unconditional love is a powerful friend, and a powerful source of strength that will never let you down. It can be difficult in reaching this state of being, but I think this quote sums this up nicely,
The source of love is deep in us and we can help others realize a lot of happiness. One word, one action, one thought can reduce another persons suffering and bring that person joy.
Thich Nhat Hanh
It doesn't take that much to do something through a source of love, and it can turn your whole world around in less than a second. Imagine what you could do for someone else...?
I'll admit that its harder for me to follow through on my words when I'm at work, because I feel trapped, in a way. Its not a natural setting, and when either you or the person on the other side of the counter is in a rush, it doesn't allow for me to take my time and genuinely get across the message from my heart.... Its hard at work. Maybe if I was a therapist, it would be different, but again, too many rules associated with being a therapist.
And, did I tell you just how much I hate rules? I've been ignoring some that could get me in serious trouble lately, but that is another story.
I'm learning new ways of taking care of myself that are helping to make me look younger than I already look, as well as grow my hair out really really fast. Look where its at now!:
There is a life-force within your soul, seek that life.
There is a gem in the mountain of your body, seek that
mine.
O traveler, if you are in search of That
Dont look outside, look inside yourself and seek That.
Rumi
Here are a few more pictures:
1.
The cutest hair style I've pulled off yet with my natural hair:
2. What is my favourite colour?
Its Yellow! Happy Sundies!
3.
I've gotten rid of Dormant Power. It was a nice try of a set, and there are some really nice shots, but I didn't get to show you what I wanted to show you. I will just wait for the right opportunity to shoot again, and make it happen. Besides, I don't want the set to waste away in MR. Nope... Not this lady.
I do want to do a new set sometime in the near future. I just haven't had the right opportunity yet. I'm stuck in Toronto for a while yet... If anyone could help a lady out with that, it would be GREATLY appreciated! 
And 4. signifies that it is indeed getting really cold outside...
This weather totally impedes on me being nude whenever I want to... 
Oh well.
Til next time, my friends.
xoxo
