I haven't done an update in a long time so today I decided I'll fill everyone in on whats been happening in my little world.
First the most important thing is I am finally a mommy!! A week ago I gave birth to a beautiful little girl named Emily. She was 2.240kgs (4.93 lbs) and from head to toe she measured in at 43cm (16.92 inches). When Emily was born she had to go into NICU for a few days because she had water on her lungs and stressed induced respiratory issues. These issues were due to a few things I had to deal with during the pregnancy so lets start there first and then move onto this beautiful little human.
Pregnancy
I found out I was pregnant in February this year and it has been an incredible journey although not the easiest one I would have liked. I spent the first trimester sick as anything and with low blood pressure I started having fainting spells a lot and had to move back in with my mum to make sure someone was home all the time to help me. At that time I was still engaged and preparing for a wedding as well and doing exams. It was all a bit much and on top of it all I had to be taken off my medication because of it being dangerous to the pregnancy. This didn't help me cope with things like I should have been able to but I eventually got used to it and started trying to focus on the pregnancy and staying healthy for the safety of my baby.
On 1 May I got married and had an amazing day, everything was going well for the first 2 months, or so I thought. One night a message came through on my husbands phone and it was something I didn't ever want to see. He had been sexting 2 different girls since a few days after the wedding and I had no clue about it for 2 months straight, when I found out about this my step gran also passed away so I had 2 massive blows in the space of a week. I sent my husband to a clinic to sort his shit out because I was not prepared to deal with what he had done and while there he started dating another girl inside the clinic. I found this out 2 weeks after he left the clinic (I feel like a fucking idiot for not throwing him out the first time). This girl knew I was in the picture and even sat with me one night during visiting times telling me how amazing pregnancy is and how beautiful it is and then an hour after i left she put her hands down my husbands pants and made out with him... This killed me when I found out and I didn't take it well at all. I told him I wanted a divorce and he promised he would change and we put a bunch of rules in place to make sure that he understood that these things cannot happen when you are in a relationship. It was all fine and well for a few days and he started his shit again, this time violating the rules of contacting a female without my knowledge. We had massive fights and every night I went to bed crying thinking that I was not good enough at all. I had started gaining weight from the pregnancy and started blaming everything he did on the small fact that I was getting bigger. A few days before Emily was born I had had enough of the fighting and kicked him out completely and told him he was not to see me until I went to the hospital. as a result of everything he did I refused to let him cut the cord or be in the room when Emily was born as he just made me so angry. My mom was the one to stay in the room with me during my c section and she cut the cord when Emily was born. When I saw him I decided for Emilys sake that he can move back in and spend time with her and be there, it is his daughter after all.
Birth
Emily was born via c section due to an accident I had when I was younger and I could not do natural birth. It was hard seeing her get rushed to NICU and not knowing what was going on and for the first few days I was not allowed to hold her at all due to the pipes and everything attached to her. I hated seeing her like that but at least I could see her and at least she was getting the medical attention she needed to survive. It was a bit touch and go for a bit and I stayed in hospital fr 3 days to recover while she was in NICU. On the fourth day I received wonderful news, She was off of the tubes and pipes and feeding well and almost ready to come home so after being home for 1 night I packed my bags and went back to the hospital to board with her for 2 days to make sure I knew exactly how to look after her, change nappies, breastfeed and bath her. it was a challenge but went very well and on Saturday we were discharged sent home.
Having her home has been incredible and so relaxing (I know not exactly what most moms say when they bring a new born home but after not having her with me the first few days its heaven to have her home) She doesn't cry much only when hungry and sleeps so well. She is my world and I am so blessed to have her. weather her father will stay with us or not depends on how quickly he decides to screw up again.
Beyond
Depending on how fast I recover I may be back shooting again very soon. I plan on shooting a new SG set in Jan next year and I have so many other things planned as well to get everything back on track. I am just so excited to be able to get back in front of the camera soon and get back to doing what I love the most. The things I have planned are still under wraps but I wont keep you guys in suspense for too long. Just a month :D
Chat soon my wonderful peoples <3
Loads of Love and Luck
LuFae <3 xx
