Fade in:
Ext. Brand Boulevard - DAY
EDDIE, a dashingly handsome 26 year old editor for Playboy TV is driving back from a hearty lunch at Sansai. He pulls up to the light. DOUCHEBAG, a nerdy 20 something stands on the island divider handing out some sort of pamphlet to other disinterested drivers.
Eddie slowly tries to roll his window up, but before he can, Douchebag pounces like a jungle cat (with glasses).
DOUCHEBAG
Excuse me sir, were you aware that President
Bush's current plans for Social Security are
tatamount to fascism.
EDDIE
You're preaching to the choir, my man. No need
to continue, I voted for Kerry.
DOUCHEBAG
Well that doesn't mean anything. Were you aware
that President Bush....(trails off into rambling
about how Bush eats kittens)
EDDIE
(desperately waiting for light to turn green)
Seriously man. I'm a pretty well read guy, and
I'm not much of a Bush fan to begin with.
Pause
DOUCHEBAG
Have you ever heard of Lyndon LaRouche?
EDDIE
Yes, I am VERY familiar with Lyndon
Larouche, and I-
Douchebag shoves 8 pounds of Lyndon LaRouche propoganda into Eddie's car. Eddie tries desperately not to kick Douchebag in the throat when he sees the cover is a photoshopped one-sheet for the movie "Twins" with Bush's face on Danny DeVito, and Augusto Pinochet on the Arnold Schwarzeneggar. Which, if the Bush/Devito hybrid were the same height as Bush, would make Augusto Pinochet roughly 14 feet tall.
EDDIE
Jesus.....
DOUCHEBAG
Y'know, Lyndon LaRouche predicted the
current state of our country with the military
industrial complex feeding this blah blah blah-
EDDIE
Yeah, so did Eisenhower and Pat Buchanan.
Doesn't mean I want to put posters of them on my
wall.
DOUCHEBAG is not used to fighting this hard for a donation.
DOUCHEBAG
Well, sure, but.....Lyndon LaRouche represents
the Liberal side of the Democratic party. Not these
watered down-
EDDIE
Wasn't that Dean's platform?
DOUCHEBAG
You should really make a donation to us!
The light, mercifully, turns green.
EDDIE
LYNDON LAROUCHE KILLED MY FAMILY!
Eddie drives off into the sunset.
FADE OUT
Ext. Brand Boulevard - DAY
EDDIE, a dashingly handsome 26 year old editor for Playboy TV is driving back from a hearty lunch at Sansai. He pulls up to the light. DOUCHEBAG, a nerdy 20 something stands on the island divider handing out some sort of pamphlet to other disinterested drivers.
Eddie slowly tries to roll his window up, but before he can, Douchebag pounces like a jungle cat (with glasses).
DOUCHEBAG
Excuse me sir, were you aware that President
Bush's current plans for Social Security are
tatamount to fascism.
EDDIE
You're preaching to the choir, my man. No need
to continue, I voted for Kerry.
DOUCHEBAG
Well that doesn't mean anything. Were you aware
that President Bush....(trails off into rambling
about how Bush eats kittens)
EDDIE
(desperately waiting for light to turn green)
Seriously man. I'm a pretty well read guy, and
I'm not much of a Bush fan to begin with.
Pause
DOUCHEBAG
Have you ever heard of Lyndon LaRouche?
EDDIE
Yes, I am VERY familiar with Lyndon
Larouche, and I-
Douchebag shoves 8 pounds of Lyndon LaRouche propoganda into Eddie's car. Eddie tries desperately not to kick Douchebag in the throat when he sees the cover is a photoshopped one-sheet for the movie "Twins" with Bush's face on Danny DeVito, and Augusto Pinochet on the Arnold Schwarzeneggar. Which, if the Bush/Devito hybrid were the same height as Bush, would make Augusto Pinochet roughly 14 feet tall.
EDDIE
Jesus.....
DOUCHEBAG
Y'know, Lyndon LaRouche predicted the
current state of our country with the military
industrial complex feeding this blah blah blah-
EDDIE
Yeah, so did Eisenhower and Pat Buchanan.
Doesn't mean I want to put posters of them on my
wall.
DOUCHEBAG is not used to fighting this hard for a donation.
DOUCHEBAG
Well, sure, but.....Lyndon LaRouche represents
the Liberal side of the Democratic party. Not these
watered down-
EDDIE
Wasn't that Dean's platform?
DOUCHEBAG
You should really make a donation to us!
The light, mercifully, turns green.
EDDIE
LYNDON LAROUCHE KILLED MY FAMILY!
Eddie drives off into the sunset.
FADE OUT
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