lucille

So. Lately things have been much too busy to even be consider being much too busy, if that makes any sense. I am feeling underloved even more now than I have in the last two years. Even though, I have surrounded myself with beautiful boys to pick and choose from. I don't feel unimportant, unsuccessful, undercooked, nor do I feel undivided. But then again, I never do. I can't be happy unless I splinter myself into a thousand pieces and share the shards of me with everything I can get my hands into. I just miss the feeling of fireworks, chemistry, you know........love. Love Love Love. I want so to hold and be held. I want to stay in on evenings and cook and flirt and cuddle. I want someone to be there to bring me a roll of toilet paper when I pee and realize I have run out......"yeah honey, it's in the linen closet." I think I am getting old. Hell, I know I'm getting older. It's too bad he wasn't the right one. So much time wasted, thinking we would be together for ever. It's too bad I can't find love and want it at the same time. Schucks.