I'm not sure how much I like multiple men coming after me all at once. Especially when you're rather fond of ONE of them and have to let all the others down if anything does go anywhere with that. Hmmm...
I slept at two different people's places this weekend. The first I enjoyed greatly. I've known the kid for a while, since I went to GVC. I had a huge crush on him back then and I figured he thought I was the biggest dork around. But I don't know now. He took me to the movies and then we hung out with friends, got drunk, messed around, then fell asleep together where he insisted on laying with his arms around me the whole night, which was absolute heaven.
The second was just awkward but I was high and drunk. Erg. I love the second guy, but...I don't know. He's 24 and living in his mom's basement, that worries me first off. I need somebody that can take care of themselves first. e_e;;; He's an amazing friend and it breaks my heart that he wants something more because I don't. I hate the fact that I love hanging out with him but don't feel anything more. Is that so wrong? He tried some shit last night, I let it happen for about a minute and then scooted away. He seemed rather miffed when I got up to go home at 3am. But I couldn't sleep. It was just too awkward.
As for my ex. I can't decide. I hate him and yet I miss him terribly. I want to wait around and see if he realizes the error of his ways, but I'm 98% positive that I would refuse to date him even if he did. I think its just the fact that I want to see him regret his choice and become as miserable as he made me. I'm sure that's a little messed up, but...eh.
I'm sure you all want to hear about my sex life and all, nothing too exciting though, I don't believe I've actually had sex in nearly two months now. I'm not complaining though.
School is busy. I have money thanks to student loans. I have a bad habit of spending it left and right on things I don't need. I lack self-control. I admit it.
I'm all around lost, confused, and wondering.
I slept at two different people's places this weekend. The first I enjoyed greatly. I've known the kid for a while, since I went to GVC. I had a huge crush on him back then and I figured he thought I was the biggest dork around. But I don't know now. He took me to the movies and then we hung out with friends, got drunk, messed around, then fell asleep together where he insisted on laying with his arms around me the whole night, which was absolute heaven.
The second was just awkward but I was high and drunk. Erg. I love the second guy, but...I don't know. He's 24 and living in his mom's basement, that worries me first off. I need somebody that can take care of themselves first. e_e;;; He's an amazing friend and it breaks my heart that he wants something more because I don't. I hate the fact that I love hanging out with him but don't feel anything more. Is that so wrong? He tried some shit last night, I let it happen for about a minute and then scooted away. He seemed rather miffed when I got up to go home at 3am. But I couldn't sleep. It was just too awkward.
As for my ex. I can't decide. I hate him and yet I miss him terribly. I want to wait around and see if he realizes the error of his ways, but I'm 98% positive that I would refuse to date him even if he did. I think its just the fact that I want to see him regret his choice and become as miserable as he made me. I'm sure that's a little messed up, but...eh.
I'm sure you all want to hear about my sex life and all, nothing too exciting though, I don't believe I've actually had sex in nearly two months now. I'm not complaining though.
School is busy. I have money thanks to student loans. I have a bad habit of spending it left and right on things I don't need. I lack self-control. I admit it.
I'm all around lost, confused, and wondering.