Wow. So the highlight of last night, or rather this morning, was a trip to the emergency room. For depression. Because I'm so desperate for help. The health center on campus said they were booked past Christmas and if I wanted to see a nurse instead of a doctor then I had to wait for one, which could take up to three hours. I'm sorry, that's just plain rediculous.
I feel rather pathetic and disgusting and bummed. I hate feeling like this. I just want it to stop. So, I got a note from the doctor last night telling the campus clinic to let me in. I didn't go in though, I was waiting for my boyfriend to come pick me up and take me. He came over 45 minutes before they close and told me he had to go home and pay a bill otherwise his car was going to be repossessed. Okay...I was going to go myself but by that time it was too late to get there and get stuff done and get a prescription filled.
I'm going home tomorrow, so I'll be going to the doctor down there. That way it will go along quick and easy.
Although I'm really sick of hearing that question, "Are you suicidal?" "Are you sure you're not?"
YES, FUCK, YES I'M SURE! I just feel like hell and I want it to stop because I feel like I'm losing my freaking mind. Just give me my prescription back and send my on my fucking way. Erg...
I hate the concerned looks I get, the looks of pity, or the looks of annoyance I recieve from my boyfriend. He thinks I'm not trying to get help, the truth is I'm just afraid to face those looks and that question alone.
I have to email my advisor and tell him I need to drop my class and retake it next semester. I need to get in contact with my ex-boss and tell him why I stopped showing up. I don't want to piss people off, I need to explain what has been going on with me so they understand. So they know that I'm sorry and I'm trying.
I feel rather pathetic and disgusting and bummed. I hate feeling like this. I just want it to stop. So, I got a note from the doctor last night telling the campus clinic to let me in. I didn't go in though, I was waiting for my boyfriend to come pick me up and take me. He came over 45 minutes before they close and told me he had to go home and pay a bill otherwise his car was going to be repossessed. Okay...I was going to go myself but by that time it was too late to get there and get stuff done and get a prescription filled.
I'm going home tomorrow, so I'll be going to the doctor down there. That way it will go along quick and easy.
Although I'm really sick of hearing that question, "Are you suicidal?" "Are you sure you're not?"
YES, FUCK, YES I'M SURE! I just feel like hell and I want it to stop because I feel like I'm losing my freaking mind. Just give me my prescription back and send my on my fucking way. Erg...
I hate the concerned looks I get, the looks of pity, or the looks of annoyance I recieve from my boyfriend. He thinks I'm not trying to get help, the truth is I'm just afraid to face those looks and that question alone.
I have to email my advisor and tell him I need to drop my class and retake it next semester. I need to get in contact with my ex-boss and tell him why I stopped showing up. I don't want to piss people off, I need to explain what has been going on with me so they understand. So they know that I'm sorry and I'm trying.