yea so its 3 am and even though i was trained to kill people for 6 months now i feel like a failure. I know a lot of people in iraq espesically witht he screaming eagles 101st airborne. Oooh aaah airborne. Death from the sky. but yea im still a little brainwashed from my failure military days. but alas my heart was broken just a bit more tonight. Iwas thinking about it though and things never really work out right? i mean what is love? its for insecurity. You need to say "i love you" so that person will be there to cuddle up to you when your drunk and lonely. So what do you do when you reach a point when your not that persons doll anymore? like they don't want you. Im in a very long term relationshihp where that is the case. its over but neither of us know how to say it cause it hurts me more than i ever wanted. but the sad thing is this has happened twice before. And im not dumb, i have only had a couple serious relationshiops. I want to take it back wherei just go climb trees and run around and not think about showers or breakfast. arg i just lie awake nowadays at night though. Theres so much complecation in love i don't know how you all can think its worth it. i wish we were permanately in grade school and ddint' think about all this dumb shit. Im just going to hide my face............... 
spill it !
heh.