lovechild

the last few days i have seriously felt like a zombie. like a stressed out work zombie who can only think about making money to pay the bills. it's fucking lame! i don't mean to keep bitching about it, but i'm just trying to get over it. it's really just the fact that since i only make commission, i never really have a secure base income. ok. enough. this is the last time i will mention it. DONE. i never want to be stuck on money, but it's hard when money is vital

i'm in sa right now at my grandma's. my mom is in town from houston (kind of strange). the last time i talked to her was in december. she's fixing to transfer to a rehab here in town if she can find a good one. my bro & sis are upstairs right now getting high and playing guitar hero. haha. oh the irony

all i know is that i really REALLY need to start doing yoga again. or tai chi.
i forgot how to feel relaxed
maybe i should just keep eating weed brownies and indian curry + tofu before i go to bed. i felt so refreshed this morning (post-420) that i made pancakes and worked out for an hour before scott even got out of bed. my bed was sooo comfortable this morning too

i feel like writing some short stories