lostidentity

Well this kinda sucks. I was supposed to go out last night with the greek chick, but she texted me with "sorry, something just came up, and I can't make it out tonight." Tonight can't happen either cause she has to work. I asked her to go out this past Thursday night and well, she was going out. So I think I get the hint, but I responded with a "let me know when its a good time for you" and I don't expect to hear from her again. This sucks, but it doesn't exactly hurt because I wasn't too attached or anything. It was just such a great opportunity. I think the fact that my parents were here and we didn't communicate too much at that point kinda sucked out all the excitment. But if she found someone else, then I get jealous and feel worse. This lonely thing is destroying me inch by inch. I just don't understand why I'm doing this to myself. Finding people that I want to hang with seems so difficult for me. blah...so anyway I got to go to DE and get some cigarettes and then do a bit of gift shopping. Thats the plus for not knowing too many people, I don't have to buy a lot of gifts..lol..I will get stuff for five people and try to limit it to $100-$200. Fuck I need a woman really badly....really badly, I'm so ready to get this part of my life figured out. GAH...I think on my 28th birthday it will hit me and then I'll start to panic and then do something about it.