lost_adaption

Hey there guys/girls, hope everyone is doing okay. I actually just had THE worst day at work of my entire life... and i was only there for 5 and a half hours. But i'm generally in one of those un-communicating type moods, the one where everyone asks you questions and you just kind of say "meh..." to all of them. And on top of that i feel quite hideous aswell, i've eaten practically nothing all day, yet that feeling where you've just gourged yourself silly and have almost stopped your own heart under the weight of how much food you've eaten just wont go away. And i've made myself dinner. I guess i'm a little bit confused aswell? Obviously...

You know its only natural to ask questions. Why do we do this? Why do we do that? Why do these things seem to happen to us? Whats going on? Why does everything seem so out of our power? Why does it seem like we can control so little? We seem to make so many mistakes, and i guess thats a good thing because the only way we can learn anything is by making mistakes and thinking to ourselves "damn, that was awful, never doing that again." But why do we make the same mistakes over and over again? Maybe there really are some things that we can't control. I'm not going to start saying that everything is pre-determined and we do these things because we've been given a set path, or certain things have been laid out for us and our lives travel through these things in that sort of path, like a big fucking ominous game of join the dots, but sometimes it really does feel like it.

I mean in my opinion i'm doubting that there is any higher power that will set out how each person thats born will live their lives, and i doubt many people believe that anymore. Religion seems to be dying out as time goes on. I say this, and yet we're still continuing to develop science and teach science in schools, and its developing as a major subject. And Science itself is basically just a religion aswell, its the opinion of how the world was created. You say how was the world created, a Christian for example would back up the god argument, yet a Scientist would claim atoms were linked with the big bang. Its just another theory, yet its been forced upon our lives as if it is proven fact. Point is its never been proven, so how can it be taught as a major subject? This i don't really understand. But hey, i'm not saying there's absolutely nothing out there. I'd really like to believe that this isn't it. When we die we just... end. And thats our lot.

I'd like to believe, yet sometimes i find it hard. And to be honest this is why i think we should get on with our Lives the way we want to. I'd take a chance and say that this is our one shot at living, experiencing the world and all the wonders, beauties, tragedies, irritations, emotions and general spirals of everyday human life, and i'd say its safer to assume we might aswell live our lives how we want to this time around, because there may not be anything afterwards. It may be our only chance. All this said i honestly don't think that many people realise/see sense, and i know this is only my opinion, but to me it seems like common sense? Why do we have to make each others lives so much harder than they already are? We've already got enough to worry about, without other peoples lives interfering with our own.

Which brings me on to issues of how people treat each other in general. I mean the majority of the population today is just sickening. I don't understand how people can walk around and just antagonise and aim to cause trouble by the end of their night out, i mean its all very well and good to have fun with your own life, but not at the expense of somebody elses. Why do we have to be so selfish?! I mean we develop to try and overcome our selfishness but some people never seem to progress, and its unnecessary in my eyes. And you know, if you're going to rip into somebody because they look a little bit different to you, then you my friend do not deserve respect. Sure it may be funny , and i mean i'm no angel, i'm no fucking saint, i'll throw my hands up right now and admit to making fun of people before to get a few cheap laughs, and to be honest i'm ashamed of myself because of it. I mean i'm hardly any spring fucking chicken really. People probably used to laugh at my expense daily when i was at school. And there we go, i deserved every bit as much as i got back because of it. What goes around comes around. But honestly, nowadays, if somebody looks a tiny little bit different to how the "media"'s perfect human looks they get ripped for it.

Whats the point honestly?! WHO the hell has the right to decide what the perfect human looks like, and who fits closest to it. Is it just due to the majority of peoples opinions?! They are just opinions after all, in which case the minority is at a loss again. Honestly i'd say that the people that care so much about how people think of them aren't happy. The models that try and keep their figures as trim as other people want them to be arent necessarily happy. I'd be fucking unhappy personally if i had to eat one lettuce leaf a day and make myself throw up in order to maintain a career. When the hell did it get to this point?! Our self-consciousness was never this bad in the past i swear! When did we suddenly spiral out of control? And when did the majority of people become so scournful and unaccepting? I just don't understand it.

To be honest, if you're happy thats all that matters. In my opinion, i would just say fuck it, it doesnt matter what you look like, who you are, where you were born, what you dress like, what sports you play, what you like to do and EVERYTHING else you could possibly think of, as long as you're happy then people can't bring you down. And i for one definitely think thats the best way to live.

I'm not saying you have to agree with me, i'm just stating my opinion as usual. Blabbering on about how if we lived in an ideal world everybody would be happy regardless, but that just cannot happen. Ideal world? Everyone is happy. Nobody would ever die, the increase in population would eventually weigh down the world so much that we'd all be fucked anyway. But is the concept of Ideal World physical? Maybe not? But an ideal living world on this planet would never work because of the above reasons. The planet is bound to run out of resources at some point due to the rise of people on the face of it. Eventually our living standards would just drop beyond repair because of the increase in population and we'd all be back to square one. So maybe the idea of living in an Ideal World will never work? I guess thats just the best conclusion i can come to. If anyone else has any ideas feel free to write me some blog comments. I'm always interested to hear anything that anyone has to say, and it actually brightens up my day to think that people have taken an interest into what i've been thinking about/writing down. So much so that they've actually read the whole thing! As you can imagine, that makes me happy oh look i'm eating my dinner regardless. Brainfood tiiiime! Anyway, where was i?

People always strive towards better living conditions around the world, which is why there are so many wars over the planets resources, and you know thats just the leaders of today trying to make their own citizens happy, BUT at the cost of citizens from another country. For example, this may be terribly clich, but the war on Iraq was initiated because of the "suspected" WomD that they were storing but OH LOOK added bonus we might aswell take their oil aswell while we're at it, or whatever it was they decided to take from them. That right there, was President Bush trying to keep his Citizens happy, but at the expense of the happiness of the ways of Iraqi civilians. This is just on a larger scale of what i've said earlier. Why does he have the right to interfere in other peoples lives to make his own country better for that one reason? Maybe they did have WomD i don't even know, but was there any reason for such extremities? I guess peoples opinions on the War will always be alot different, and alot of people will probably disagree with me. I'm just voicing what i believe in. The move seemed greedy to me. Just like a bully picking on somebody and stealing his/her lunch money. Great. It feels juvenile.... ;/ And yes, as stated i don't think that Saddam Hussein was right to treat his people the way that he did, basically ruling the country with fear, yet at the same time i also don't believe its right for America to try and force their ideas of Happiness on the civilians of Iraq, after bombing so many of their innocents.

And the planet. We're slowly killing it away anyway. I mean it may not have completely run out of anything in our life spans but we're slowly draining it of its life. And it, compared to the other Planets, will not live for very long because of us. We are like parasites, as i've said before. We're sucking the life out of it in order to keep ourselves Happy. And we're in no position to do anything about it. I'm not about to kill myself for the greater good to be honest either, maybe thats me having undertones of selfishness, who knows! But we're alive. And we were born unto this Planet. And what goes on around it is all that we know. So we continue on. Maybe we could be a little more thoughtful. Use up less of the Planets natural resources. But we'd have to be pretty sharpish about it now, because soon i dont think the planet will be able to repair/maintain itself any longer. But at the same time, we're given one life, one blessing, and even if it is really selfish i'm not going to let it get to me. I'd rather get on with my own life than worry about it, because one person as lowly as myself isn't going to change a thing.

I guess in this life you've just got to keep yourself happy and live the way you want to, as long as it doesn't effect anybody elses plans. If you really want to be a murderer for example, i don't believe that anyone has the right to take away the one thing that we're given when we're born, the short life span that we do have. Anything within reason.

So we plan out the things that we want to do and as long as we work hard enough we can always achieve them within reason. Perseverance is the key to living happily. You have to make your own plans, your own future. You have to decide on the things that will make you happy and keep you going every day. i WILL get a good job, or i WILL get a house, or i WILL go on holiday or whatever it is, these things will make us happy so we'll damn well carry on trying/working hard until we've gotten them. I guess thats what i believe anyway, as always i'm stating that its only my opinion because i know i'm not god or anything, people will always feel differently. I know i'm a very strange person so maybe not many people would agree with what i have to say, but i've never claimed to be intelligent, or any sort of authority on these things. I just write down what i'm thinking, however incorrect or incoherent they may be. And i've tried my hardest to not make it a big waste of time. I mean i write these things for myself, to clear my head, but if i can bring an ounce of happiness into somebody elses life aswell then thats an added bonus for me.

Happiness is another very odd concept. How do we know when we're truly happy, i mean happiness is usually only a temporary feeling. Do we constantly strive towards happiness that lasts forever? I suppose we do. I mean for example i dislike being lonely, so i try and go out with my friends as much as possible, do things that i like doing with them, the whole shared experience thing. Lots of people being happy at once! Is always a good thing I mean without my friends i would just be one big miserable piece of shite, they make my life. Without them i would just be a nobody. I suppose thats why i've chosen what i want to do with my life, but everybody is different. Maybe some people don't need friends to be happy? Thats their choice, and who are we to judge them for it?

All in all, i'm not trying to create anything, i'm not telling anyone how to live their lives, i'm not saying i'm correct/incorrect/i dont even know if there is such thing as "correct" on most of these subject, i'm just one person voicing his opinion. If we all spoke up that little bit louder and thought for ourselves instead of blending into/following the majority/crowd of judgemental, selfish people maybe things would be a little bit easier? Or maybe i'm the one thats being selfish by voicing my opinion? Will i ever know? I doubt it. But we have to accept certain things as the norm or you know, we'd NEVER be able to live in peace. "IS THAT REALLY BLUE?" lets just safely assume that yes, it is blue. Although many people may perceive it differently, that is my blue and it will stay like that, as i've accepted it. You can tell me its green if you like but in MY OPINION, its blue, so i shall continue sticking with my opinion of things until i die. Opinion is a very valuable thing.

I suppose i should probably finish this off now, i mean i don't mind if anyone reads this or not, added bonus if somebody reads it and it makes them happy for however long it takes them to really. Making people happy is always good. So maybe someone will benefit from it some time? Who knows. I'll just leave it up and see. And thank you for listening to my opinion. You can judge me if you want to, i don't mind. After all, that is your opinion Ugh, most of this is just drivel. I hope someone somewhere enjoys it T_T Night Night! xX