lorensoth

Feels like its been a long time since I posted anything on here. I really should try to keep a record of what happens a little better. Im not sure why, but lately Ive felt very small compared to everything else around me. I feel like im just some small piece of a small world that we are slowly destroying. I keep looking back at how my life has been going, living with the parents still, single, and only working part time at a shipping store. I sometimes dont even know how Ive gotten to the moment Im at now. It feels like the last 16 years somehow slipped past me, and now im here trying to figure out whats happening. I keep looking at our society, and how we all live, and I wonder how many people know that, if we as humanity dont change something soon... then our entire existance will be turned to dust someday. And all our lives and accoplishments will vanish with us. Its seems strange to think of things like this, but when I think of how long the earth has existed, and how short a time our lives are... well lets just say its alot to think about. My life is based on these small ticking numbers that are everywhere, on this screen there is time, the VCR next to me, there is time. Miniutes can sometimes seem so long, but in the end years become blips in our memories. Days consist of what we tell ourselves to do, eat drink, sleep, bathroom, and for the lucky ones sex. I dont know if I even feel real anymore... and yet even though I want to dive deeper into all these random thoughts, the bottom line is that I have work in less then an hour... it seems so absurd to have that as the ruling thought in my mind, when part of me knows that im slowly aging, and that humanity is slowly destroying itself. Im sure that psychitrists have some sort of long word for the type of thoughts Ive been having lately... I just really wish I could somehow change the world somehow i suppose....