I'm bored this holiday season. My job still sucks, but i'm not as hung up about it as usual, since Christmas is coming, and i'm getting paid today.
My boss went to Germany. He can barely afford to fix our equipment, yet he can buy vehicles that are worth more than my soul can cash in at the Devil's Depot, own a nice home in both Calgary and BC, and take a vacation every four months. And he's as smart as a bucket of rusty bolts.
For those whom believe in Darwinism... what a load of crap! Surely natural selection should have weeded out the idiots by now. He goes to Germany, and I freeze my balls off picking up garbage and cleaning floors with machines that stay together on miracles alone. What a world. No wonder i'm pissed all the time.
But oh well. At least he's enjoying Christmas. My family is enjoying Christmas holidays as well. My brother and sister are meeting in Regina and my parents are enjoying sunny Laka Havasu in Arizona.
Though I can spend Christmas with my friends, I still feel the weight of my mental Exile pressing on me, moreso now that i'm going to spend my first Christmas away from my relatives. Adds to the isolation I feel sometimes, being an outsider looking in at the world. Even the friends I have in this life, I can barely express to them exactly how I feel, and instead keep a smile and a happy mood to show that all is well, and that they have nothing to worry about.
I ramble on. Sorry.
But I do look forward to doing some celebration. Maybe I can count the blessings I do have, or at least forget about the curses for just a little while.
But after Christmas... disappointment. A friend of mine is moving back to Saskatchewan. I work with him, and have been his friend since high school. I'm going to miss him, because he is a friendly, approachable person who could blend into any social surroundings. One of the few friends I did have in high school, and also the only reason why my job is half decent. He will be gone. Though I will miss him, I will have to adapt.
I was just thinking... other than the mentioned friend above, nobody else really knows about me, what makes me tick, what made me the person I am today. Maybe I will let a few details out... just a taste. I'm not comfortable letting it all out. But I can say that during high school, there was nobody else like me, not even close. I was the geek, the creepy kid, the loser, the nerd, the pariah. I was unique, but that was the problem...
More on that tomorrow. Right now, i'm going to sleep, because when I wake up, everything will be better, even if just for a little while.
My boss went to Germany. He can barely afford to fix our equipment, yet he can buy vehicles that are worth more than my soul can cash in at the Devil's Depot, own a nice home in both Calgary and BC, and take a vacation every four months. And he's as smart as a bucket of rusty bolts.
For those whom believe in Darwinism... what a load of crap! Surely natural selection should have weeded out the idiots by now. He goes to Germany, and I freeze my balls off picking up garbage and cleaning floors with machines that stay together on miracles alone. What a world. No wonder i'm pissed all the time.
But oh well. At least he's enjoying Christmas. My family is enjoying Christmas holidays as well. My brother and sister are meeting in Regina and my parents are enjoying sunny Laka Havasu in Arizona.
Though I can spend Christmas with my friends, I still feel the weight of my mental Exile pressing on me, moreso now that i'm going to spend my first Christmas away from my relatives. Adds to the isolation I feel sometimes, being an outsider looking in at the world. Even the friends I have in this life, I can barely express to them exactly how I feel, and instead keep a smile and a happy mood to show that all is well, and that they have nothing to worry about.
I ramble on. Sorry.
But I do look forward to doing some celebration. Maybe I can count the blessings I do have, or at least forget about the curses for just a little while.
But after Christmas... disappointment. A friend of mine is moving back to Saskatchewan. I work with him, and have been his friend since high school. I'm going to miss him, because he is a friendly, approachable person who could blend into any social surroundings. One of the few friends I did have in high school, and also the only reason why my job is half decent. He will be gone. Though I will miss him, I will have to adapt.
I was just thinking... other than the mentioned friend above, nobody else really knows about me, what makes me tick, what made me the person I am today. Maybe I will let a few details out... just a taste. I'm not comfortable letting it all out. But I can say that during high school, there was nobody else like me, not even close. I was the geek, the creepy kid, the loser, the nerd, the pariah. I was unique, but that was the problem...
More on that tomorrow. Right now, i'm going to sleep, because when I wake up, everything will be better, even if just for a little while.
Travis
I won't feed you the unique as a diamond bullshit though. I can tell you this - there isn't any one person in this world who didn't feel the same isolation in high school. Problem is everyone is too wrapped up in their own problems that they don't notice how wrapped up everyone else is in theirs.
Merry Christmas darlin'.