*I am seriously imaging the music in Resident Evil where they mention a diary entry. I believe it was Nemesis...*
Hello, and welcome back to my blog, those few who read it, that is. But no worries, it's only my second day.
I just woke up, after doing graveyard shift at the mall again (name withheld for privacy reasons). I don't like graveyard shift. I don't like that mall. They have cheap tiles they put in... white, unpolished, very rough surface. Problem is, they trap dirt, and never seem to come clean. Whoever thought of ordering those tiles deserves to be shot dead on sight, via Columbian hit squad armed with AK-47's.
Sad part is, after working janitorial for so long, you notice these things. I've work this job for waaaaay too long. It's a McJob, a dead end, a total crashing bore that saps the lively energy out of me. But I plod on anyways, because student loans are relentless, and the pay is good considering chimpanzees on rollerskates can do the same thing I do (so proven by a couple of our old men janitors at that mall).
But I digress (I use that phrase alot, bear with me). What is this 'Exile' I speak of? Poetic or just plain melodramatic? Either way, it's the word I've come up with for my current predicament.
In a nutshell, i'm a recent college graduate. I have my bachelor's degree, and i'm proud of that. Took alot of work to earn it, and i'm the first in my clan to do so. But I always thought I could put it to some use.
Alas, I was wrong. It's a business degree, yet no matter how many times I submitted my resume, no matter how many times I had an interview, I had nothing to show for it but a bad suit and disappointment.
Then I joined the Janitors at the mall. It was an act of desperation, because I needed cash to live. But when I worked there, I found that the hours I had to keep cramped my social life. I didn't get a single sunday off, so I couldn't visit my friends at church as often as I liked.
I started acting less Christian like. I was depressed. Going nowhere, I lost hope. Somewhere on this journey, I was struck off the path and now I don't know if I can go back on. I don't know what to do to kickstart my career search. My brain feels like it's going to atrophe with every push of the mop and every crude word that comes out of the old men's mouths.
So in essence, being in Exile in this world is to me being away from God, away from prosperity, away from anything that could engage my interests. Exile is sheer boredom, and depression.
My life is boring, and going nowhere, even though I had the confidence of my friends, my family and even my school.
And as a last ditch effort to reach out and call someone from Exile, I write to you this blog.
Be this a warning. Even the blessed can fall...
Hello, and welcome back to my blog, those few who read it, that is. But no worries, it's only my second day.
I just woke up, after doing graveyard shift at the mall again (name withheld for privacy reasons). I don't like graveyard shift. I don't like that mall. They have cheap tiles they put in... white, unpolished, very rough surface. Problem is, they trap dirt, and never seem to come clean. Whoever thought of ordering those tiles deserves to be shot dead on sight, via Columbian hit squad armed with AK-47's.
Sad part is, after working janitorial for so long, you notice these things. I've work this job for waaaaay too long. It's a McJob, a dead end, a total crashing bore that saps the lively energy out of me. But I plod on anyways, because student loans are relentless, and the pay is good considering chimpanzees on rollerskates can do the same thing I do (so proven by a couple of our old men janitors at that mall).
But I digress (I use that phrase alot, bear with me). What is this 'Exile' I speak of? Poetic or just plain melodramatic? Either way, it's the word I've come up with for my current predicament.
In a nutshell, i'm a recent college graduate. I have my bachelor's degree, and i'm proud of that. Took alot of work to earn it, and i'm the first in my clan to do so. But I always thought I could put it to some use.
Alas, I was wrong. It's a business degree, yet no matter how many times I submitted my resume, no matter how many times I had an interview, I had nothing to show for it but a bad suit and disappointment.
Then I joined the Janitors at the mall. It was an act of desperation, because I needed cash to live. But when I worked there, I found that the hours I had to keep cramped my social life. I didn't get a single sunday off, so I couldn't visit my friends at church as often as I liked.
I started acting less Christian like. I was depressed. Going nowhere, I lost hope. Somewhere on this journey, I was struck off the path and now I don't know if I can go back on. I don't know what to do to kickstart my career search. My brain feels like it's going to atrophe with every push of the mop and every crude word that comes out of the old men's mouths.
So in essence, being in Exile in this world is to me being away from God, away from prosperity, away from anything that could engage my interests. Exile is sheer boredom, and depression.
My life is boring, and going nowhere, even though I had the confidence of my friends, my family and even my school.
And as a last ditch effort to reach out and call someone from Exile, I write to you this blog.
Be this a warning. Even the blessed can fall...
I'm now going to critique your critique on your life. It's going to suck, but I'm a Virgo and I'm darn good at point out flaws.
So you don't have your ideal job. Not yet. It takes awhile. Also, there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about being a janitor. My mother had a masters degree in teaching before she moved to Canada and worked in factories, on assembly lines, and as a janitor.
Just keep your head up and ears open.
That, and interview skills are learned, not innate. Don't get bent up over it.
And there's a huge difference between being Christian and Christian-like. I'm far from Christian in faith, but I have a deep understanding of the faith and know that to be christian like, you simply must carry a general love and respect for human dignity. So long as you do, you can't fall far. Religion is different than faith - if you're communicating with God, missing mass shouldn't be an issue faith-wise (although it may be social-wise).
You'll be fine. Just look up - and out. There's always light at the end of the tunnel.
PS - Looking at nekkid pictures of me isn't an issue of decency to me. If it is to you, I'm not going to press it. I just wanted to let you know that this is my expression of my sexual self and I'm rather proud of it. And a part of being proud of that sexual aspect is sharing it with the world.