lord

Ugh! I don't usually blog, but I'm so lost and friggin confused about everything anymore. All I do is work and when I'm not working I'm fighting with my friend/ex. We both have hurt each other alot and we both have given the other many happy days, but I'm at a point where I honestly feel that I have alot to work on within myself as a person and I need to find myself, so hanging with him continually only causes me to lose sight of the things I need to do for myself.
I'm living on borrowed time, so I need to find my own place soon and that means getting another job on top of the full time job that I already have. I started smoking again which I'm not proud of. I need to get my life straightened out! I feel like I have nothing to look forward too sometimes. All I've done since I was 14 is work, so I know nothing else. I earned my GED a few years ago and went to college part time, but I had to stop going 40 credits later because I needed to work more. I finally got a job with benefits this past November, so I decided that I would go back to school for nursing (I was previously earning credits towards a degree in Criminal Justice), but life had other plans for me. I was left with no choice but to move out of where I was lliving previously for reasons I won't disclose and now I have to get my own apartment which I'm totally not ready for. Anyway, growing up sucks!