it's a quiet morning.
today i woke up at 6 am, because i had to get up mildly early anyways, and faith was getting up then. i suppose i just hit the right sleep cycle because for whatever reason it felt very easy to be awake. i decided it wouldn't be worth the extra hour to risk it being more difficult later. it's been awhile since i've seen that hour. it's very calming, completely unique in the way of the mood it puts me in.
we finally had it with the sub-par air conditioner last night so we slept with the windows open for the first time in a long time as well. i liked hearing the rain instead of the annoying hum of a big ugly contraption probably made during the 70s. sharing a bed and watching the curtains sway, tinted with the glow of the moon..if it were 2 years ago and i saw the scene in a movie it would make my chest ache, and now it's mine.
i gave myself time to stop and get coffee on my way to work and my timing was a little off so instead if sitting in the parking lot a half hour early i just drove around a little bit. around bloomfield where it feels like i must actually be 100 miles from hartford. connecticut is really strange in that way...how drastically the scenery can change one road at a time.
i'm working the standard 8 hour work day today. driving around this morning i was half convinced i had something in common with all the other people on the road, and i thought for a second about how someday i might actually have a routine like them. it was comforting to feel a connection with complete strangers, but only if i ignored the reasoning why. i find lately that i am much more apt to engage in conversation with strangers than i ever was before..initiate it even. in the back of my mind i'm still always wondering if the way i interact is completely different than the way that other people do, and despite watching other people interact, i somehow just don't notice this huge glaring difference and they all do. it isn't as if this worries me, it's more along the lines of those curious egocentric questions people inherantly ask, i suppose...like when people wonder if they are actually the only thing that really exists and the rest of the universe is an act or all in their head and when they look away, it all disappears.
to me, these details are what makes for the most convincing proof that i really am alive when you look away.
today i woke up at 6 am, because i had to get up mildly early anyways, and faith was getting up then. i suppose i just hit the right sleep cycle because for whatever reason it felt very easy to be awake. i decided it wouldn't be worth the extra hour to risk it being more difficult later. it's been awhile since i've seen that hour. it's very calming, completely unique in the way of the mood it puts me in.
we finally had it with the sub-par air conditioner last night so we slept with the windows open for the first time in a long time as well. i liked hearing the rain instead of the annoying hum of a big ugly contraption probably made during the 70s. sharing a bed and watching the curtains sway, tinted with the glow of the moon..if it were 2 years ago and i saw the scene in a movie it would make my chest ache, and now it's mine.
i gave myself time to stop and get coffee on my way to work and my timing was a little off so instead if sitting in the parking lot a half hour early i just drove around a little bit. around bloomfield where it feels like i must actually be 100 miles from hartford. connecticut is really strange in that way...how drastically the scenery can change one road at a time.
i'm working the standard 8 hour work day today. driving around this morning i was half convinced i had something in common with all the other people on the road, and i thought for a second about how someday i might actually have a routine like them. it was comforting to feel a connection with complete strangers, but only if i ignored the reasoning why. i find lately that i am much more apt to engage in conversation with strangers than i ever was before..initiate it even. in the back of my mind i'm still always wondering if the way i interact is completely different than the way that other people do, and despite watching other people interact, i somehow just don't notice this huge glaring difference and they all do. it isn't as if this worries me, it's more along the lines of those curious egocentric questions people inherantly ask, i suppose...like when people wonder if they are actually the only thing that really exists and the rest of the universe is an act or all in their head and when they look away, it all disappears.
to me, these details are what makes for the most convincing proof that i really am alive when you look away.
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I re-iterated a post in the CT group about piercings, thouht maybe you missed my first one.
Yes, CT is whacky. You can go from Ghetto, to farm, to mansion, to suburb, to city in like 20 minutes.