it's so easy to get lost in your head, thoughts circling round and round like a tornado- taking both reason and logic along with it. everyone has there own little world, there own thoughts, demons, dreams, complexes and so on. sometimes i wonder exactly how much one person can enter the world of another- sure from time to time people will click and find themselves along the same wavelength but to what exent is this truly shared? what if everything you think that the other person thinks is just a projection of your own thoughts once again leaving you in your own wolrd without ever really knowing the true reality of things?
damn, overly analytical mind....trying so hard to find the distinction between illusion and reality...trying so hard not to lose myself completely for fear of finding out what i thought was real was only in my head and my head alone. after having been in similar situations i feel the need to be more cautious but at the same time i just want to let go...i want to let everything go and live with my dreams.
i hope to one day be rid of these insecurities...it's funny how sometimes you think that you have overcome certain things only to later find that they are still there.
this is only a part of the turmoil that still runs through my head from time to time- other than that i am happy to say that i have recently erradicated my other demons just recently. for the past few years my dreams have always carried an array of regret and uncertainty- drudging up the past, shoving the things i did "wrong" in my face, reflecting my indecision. but just last week i had the most amazing dream where i was once again confronted with these things and felt no remorse- i was able to say goodbye to them and i was finally able to say that i was happy- with no uncertainty in my feelings, no second thoughts or remorse- only love, and not just for what i have now but for everything i did have and let go of.
"i do not regret the things i have done but only the things i did not do"-
love is such a powerful emotion, i used to run from it because i hated how it makes people dependent, but the world is so cold without it...the truth is that love is bigger than what the hallmark greeting cards portray, it is deeper than one's individual desires and it stretches out beyond the constraints of time. when people are hurt or dissappointed they take this love and stick it in a box, closing themself away from the world for fear of being hurt again. i'm tired of that, it is self-destructive and causes people to writh in their own personal misery. pain is a universal emotion, sometimes we forget this and get lost within our own world of pain- forgetting how many others are also experiencing this. but once one realizes that these are shared emotions than we become further connected to everything and everyone.
i still have a long way to go, but i want to let go of all the pain and worry inside of me.
i want to give him everything- without putting forth any expectations and i want to allow this evergrowing passion inside my heart to keep flowing....
damn, overly analytical mind....trying so hard to find the distinction between illusion and reality...trying so hard not to lose myself completely for fear of finding out what i thought was real was only in my head and my head alone. after having been in similar situations i feel the need to be more cautious but at the same time i just want to let go...i want to let everything go and live with my dreams.
i hope to one day be rid of these insecurities...it's funny how sometimes you think that you have overcome certain things only to later find that they are still there.
this is only a part of the turmoil that still runs through my head from time to time- other than that i am happy to say that i have recently erradicated my other demons just recently. for the past few years my dreams have always carried an array of regret and uncertainty- drudging up the past, shoving the things i did "wrong" in my face, reflecting my indecision. but just last week i had the most amazing dream where i was once again confronted with these things and felt no remorse- i was able to say goodbye to them and i was finally able to say that i was happy- with no uncertainty in my feelings, no second thoughts or remorse- only love, and not just for what i have now but for everything i did have and let go of.
"i do not regret the things i have done but only the things i did not do"-
love is such a powerful emotion, i used to run from it because i hated how it makes people dependent, but the world is so cold without it...the truth is that love is bigger than what the hallmark greeting cards portray, it is deeper than one's individual desires and it stretches out beyond the constraints of time. when people are hurt or dissappointed they take this love and stick it in a box, closing themself away from the world for fear of being hurt again. i'm tired of that, it is self-destructive and causes people to writh in their own personal misery. pain is a universal emotion, sometimes we forget this and get lost within our own world of pain- forgetting how many others are also experiencing this. but once one realizes that these are shared emotions than we become further connected to everything and everyone.
i still have a long way to go, but i want to let go of all the pain and worry inside of me.
i want to give him everything- without putting forth any expectations and i want to allow this evergrowing passion inside my heart to keep flowing....
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I'm not sure about no regrets though, but then it depends on how you define 'regret'. I don't tend dwell onthe past or on the mistakes that I've made as it's part of the learning process, and in any case I feel I've done my best where I can to correct them, or at least alleviate the fallout. To go through life without considering your impact on your environment and the people around you is pretty selfish IMHO and not something that's going to earn you much karma in the long run... *shrugs*