****This is another self-depricating journal entry...don't say you were not warned.****
I have been having the worse nightmares the past few nights. Waking up in the heaviest sweats and trying to rip apart the sheets. My roommate actually had to come in and shake me awake last night because he said I sounded like "the anti-Christ". Maybe this is my brains way of making the waking hours feel a little more inviting than the regular nothing more than a quest to kill the hours until the clock will roll around just a little bit more so I can eat again, have another drink or put on another album. I just don't know about anything anymore though. My ideas of what I'm looking for and what is possible are being dumped in and out of my brain faster than I can register what sort of value they may hold.
I could barely care less about school but don't know what else I would do if I left it.
I know I can't stick around my apartment and keep feeling like the third wheel in other people's life, but it is hard when the only thing I can think of to do at night is go walk on the beach or just ride the bus or train around the city, listen to my headphones and look for a place to get off where I might feel comfertable enough to say something more than, "Hey, how's it going?" and "Okay, well it was cool meeting you." (Note to Billy: Saying "Hello" does not constitute "meeting" someone. )
My roommate and his girlfriend rented Passion Of The Christ last night and, after I talked shit about it, it managed to somehow break my DVD player. It was like the hand of W. Bush Jr. came down and crushed my device of viewing degenerate films.
I'll leave on that note...billy
I have been having the worse nightmares the past few nights. Waking up in the heaviest sweats and trying to rip apart the sheets. My roommate actually had to come in and shake me awake last night because he said I sounded like "the anti-Christ". Maybe this is my brains way of making the waking hours feel a little more inviting than the regular nothing more than a quest to kill the hours until the clock will roll around just a little bit more so I can eat again, have another drink or put on another album. I just don't know about anything anymore though. My ideas of what I'm looking for and what is possible are being dumped in and out of my brain faster than I can register what sort of value they may hold.
I could barely care less about school but don't know what else I would do if I left it.
I know I can't stick around my apartment and keep feeling like the third wheel in other people's life, but it is hard when the only thing I can think of to do at night is go walk on the beach or just ride the bus or train around the city, listen to my headphones and look for a place to get off where I might feel comfertable enough to say something more than, "Hey, how's it going?" and "Okay, well it was cool meeting you." (Note to Billy: Saying "Hello" does not constitute "meeting" someone. )
My roommate and his girlfriend rented Passion Of The Christ last night and, after I talked shit about it, it managed to somehow break my DVD player. It was like the hand of W. Bush Jr. came down and crushed my device of viewing degenerate films.
I'll leave on that note...billy
terental:
The breaking DVD player is spooky. I always have Sundays, usually mondays, and the third just depends on whatever the chef has going on that week. Get the e-mail?