YAY!!!
I got my new computer so I can download me some music again... hooray!!!
I've been working on myself a lot lately. I'm determined NOT to turn out like my mom.. utterly miserable and blaming my unhappiness on everyone else. Being completely unable to accept that I need help.. married to someone I hate.. and vicariously living through my children.
I fucking REFUSE!!
So I'm doing all the therapy crap.. and I'm really taking my psych's suggestions.. can't hurt, right?
It's just very uncomfotrable.. I'm so used to being miserable. Hating myself.. my body.. hating the very fiber of my being that I can't even imagine not. It's scary.
Sometimes I wonder if maybe I want to stay this way.. I can't imagine not needing this escape.. cutting my skin.. eating my feelings.. drugging away my pain.
I guess I'll see.. thats all I can do.
I got my new computer so I can download me some music again... hooray!!!
I've been working on myself a lot lately. I'm determined NOT to turn out like my mom.. utterly miserable and blaming my unhappiness on everyone else. Being completely unable to accept that I need help.. married to someone I hate.. and vicariously living through my children.
I fucking REFUSE!!
So I'm doing all the therapy crap.. and I'm really taking my psych's suggestions.. can't hurt, right?
It's just very uncomfotrable.. I'm so used to being miserable. Hating myself.. my body.. hating the very fiber of my being that I can't even imagine not. It's scary.
Sometimes I wonder if maybe I want to stay this way.. I can't imagine not needing this escape.. cutting my skin.. eating my feelings.. drugging away my pain.
I guess I'll see.. thats all I can do.
You're fabulous you know... How is Mu Shu?