lollygrrl

MY GOD.. I've had a fucked up couple of months.



Where do I begin.. and how much do I really want to say.
-I got my $20,000 on.. hmm, September 15th.. spent it by October 5th.
-My girl moved out for good.
-I went on medical leave from my job for a little while because I have this reoccuring shit that I needed to treat finally.
-I kind of had a nervous breakdown last weekend. Now I'm back seeing a bunch of shrinks.

And these are things in my head...

ripping open your scars
and pouring salt into the newly gashed wounds
slicing into your unovidable past
and soaking it with lemon juice
tearing a hole in your heart
and drenching it with vile age-old memories
slashing slits into the wrist of the little girl within you
wanting nothing more than to numb your pain
to deaden the ache in your heart
to desensitize the bitter emotions that seep from your pores
to blunt the constant burning of your self-loathing
to satiate your blood and veins with the quiet warmth
to truly be comfortably numb

goodnight