gods its been a while^^;... been "caught like bottled water" in my overly analytical head... I've been obsessing as usual, but I've finally loosed my grip on the great desire to be closer to my Cuquita... it's just not happening at all... she's not made any move to call or message me on MySpace for some weeks now... so I finally left her a short note... she did reply but it was vague and distant... its mostly me I'm sure, but I'm not trying to get with her, I just want her friendship... seems thats just not something she wants... oh well... my Prince is the one I've been focusing most on throughout the whole thing and lately I've been way too much for both of us I fear... I realize I'm more of a girl than I gave myself credit for... it's aggravating how much I read into shit... but we're spending time apart.... just till tomorrow after I'm through at work... because of schedule stuff we had these two days apart but I think it's best for us... he needs space and I know I do, too... I've been just unacceptably irrational and moody... I've had a lot of stress lately but I know more than half is by my own hand... but we're taking kick boxing together which I know will help me mentally aswell as physically^^ I'm so excited about it^^ Our instructor even said I had a lot of power behind my kicks and punches^^ He asked me if I was certain I never did anything like this before and I informed him that I'd had a very small amount of training in karate when I was in first grade but I was just a chibi... I didn't really take it seriously enough... but now I get to try kick boxing and I'm thrilled^^ I think this will be great for both my Prince and I^^ ... alongside that, I have become utterly enthralled with korean ball jointed dolls O.O I'm trying to build up the money to buy one from the Luts company^^ These dolls are fully jointed and are completely customizable^^ I have my eyes on three in particular... I can't decide... I'm just having the worst time o.o... I'd post pictures here for everyone to see and offer their opinions but I'm afraid that would get me in trouble with Luts... anyway, I'm trying to figure out which to bring home... they're all just incredible ^-^ El, Hound and Chiwoo are my top three right now... they are about 23 inches tall except for Hound who would be about 27 inches^^ *dies* and they're just amazing... I mean, hell if you get the chance go to www.eluts.com and check out the dolls I mentioned.... the details are exquistite... this is the field I am trying to get into^^ I want to make dolls... *smiles*...
More Blogs
-
2
Friday May 19, 2006
Five dogs... we have five dogs now... gods, I don't know how we'll do… -
1
Saturday May 13, 2006
I woke flailing and ready to throw punches, he's penetrated my dreams… -
1
Saturday Sep 03, 2005
gods its been a while^^;... been "caught like bottled water" in my ov… -
5
Saturday Aug 20, 2005
"this tedious path I've chosen here, I certainly would've walked awa… -
0
Saturday Aug 20, 2005
I'm so at home here... it's like hanging out with a sister... reading… -
3
Friday Aug 12, 2005
DDR 3rd mix was alot harder than I expected... considering I thought … -
4
Sunday Aug 07, 2005
Tried rollerblading again, but the heat overtook me... my head hurt t… -
1
Saturday Aug 06, 2005
I'm brand new to havinga an SG account ... but not a complete strange…
Anyway, yes, overanalyzing and being a girl often go hand-in-hand, I regret to say...I do it frequently. I live in constant pain of watching pretty boys I cannot have, and alas, I think about it all the time. *sigh* There were many pretty, drunken boys hitting on each other last night. Ah well...I'm a masochist for this sort of thing, I think. Sometimes I think I just like to deny myself by getting turned on by being a backgroung voyeur to the hot boy-on-boy action all around me.
Today is game-day for us here at school...very exciting, very exciting indeed...I don't like sports much, but I do love me some football!
I did find a gay group, incidentally. I am an officer in a newly-renovated graduate student group called "Lamba Grads" and actually I met a lovely lady at last night's event, although I think she has a long-distance girlfriend.
In other news...(I know, I'm being really newsy today, but it's because I haven't written in so long)...I met an actual straight boy, which is very unusual in my world. He's cute and funny, and sort of "swishy" for a straight guy, which we all know I like. His name is Chip. We'll see where that goes. I like him--I wonder if we are compatible.
Keep me occasionally updated. I love to hear from you!
M