I'm hiding out here at 5AM because it is the only place I am anonymous.
I had my first affair tonight. The clean up requires a lot of ritual and ceremony, a lot of superstition. I am inclined to believe one's guilt can be washed away with strong soap and very hot water. Burning incense is an important step toward exercising the demons of infidelity. Fresh sheets are as crucial as a fresh pussy. Making a trip out to the dumpster with the condoms is vital even in a Spring snow storm. It is good to finish by listening to Patsy Cline on repeat and drinking whatever is available. Unfortunately this is a dry house this month. Consulting the tarot cards is permissible but not for the weak of heart or the paranoid. Most importantly, creating an ambiance conducive to disattachment is helpful during the act so that after, when the bed is made and the lights are on, it feels like nothing more than a wet dream. Puke if necessary. Don't tell a soul but if you happen to have a priest or a best guy friend in another state who is cheater-savy, give 'em a hollar in the morning if your conscience is still bothering you.
Wish me luck.
I had my first affair tonight. The clean up requires a lot of ritual and ceremony, a lot of superstition. I am inclined to believe one's guilt can be washed away with strong soap and very hot water. Burning incense is an important step toward exercising the demons of infidelity. Fresh sheets are as crucial as a fresh pussy. Making a trip out to the dumpster with the condoms is vital even in a Spring snow storm. It is good to finish by listening to Patsy Cline on repeat and drinking whatever is available. Unfortunately this is a dry house this month. Consulting the tarot cards is permissible but not for the weak of heart or the paranoid. Most importantly, creating an ambiance conducive to disattachment is helpful during the act so that after, when the bed is made and the lights are on, it feels like nothing more than a wet dream. Puke if necessary. Don't tell a soul but if you happen to have a priest or a best guy friend in another state who is cheater-savy, give 'em a hollar in the morning if your conscience is still bothering you.
Wish me luck.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
lolitasordid:
i did, twice. pretty sure i'm going to hell. NO! I can't think like that!!
gasolineperfect:
i want to have an affair. but i feel bad that i might not feel bad...
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