lokidog

i can't sleep. the temp outside is dropping well below zero, or it feels like it.

strange dreams, and a dog that doesn't listen.

awake but not enough to do anything about it.

i wish i had some gin.

it's times like this when i wish i had dr thompson's leagle advice. or at least spell check.

i'm right in the middle of the annual alaska darkness marathon.

music
that wasn't meant for me
moon light
on my fence
cold drinks
hot showers
and an image
of a woman
who could be anyone
or someone
to no one
like me

in the last year my life has changed dramaticly.

except for one or two people who read these things i write this will be vague.

i have beauty in my life i never had the capasity to understand. now, i know it so well it wakes me up at night.

i've given up things i swore would be mine forever.

and i'm good with that.

do you wonder
who is watching
or
dreaming
about
you
in the small hours
of the day
is she
a lie
or is she love

or is she lost
in her own illution

i need a vacation.

i need to go somewhere warm, and do something different.

hands, and finger tips. touching, holding, investigating the reaction. it's deep, it's true, it's wet, and the helplessness of being enjoyed so fully is bliss.

it's night in the largest, northern most, city in the country. the mountains have lost all pigmant, and white is the replacement coating.

the biggest bull moose i've ever walked around is wondering around my neighborhood right now. when i walk my dog it seems like he is following us from the front, and like american express he's everywhere i want to be. it makes...
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too much work...

not enough sleep....

i'm going something, something..

crazy?

don't mind if i do.

it isn't at my house yet but i've seen it on cars around town, and it's getting deeper on the mountain tops...

the snow will cover everything soon.

and then the long dark of winter will begin.

hmmmm... but that also means skiing, ice skating, sledding, and beautiful, moving ribbons of neon colors in the sky.

my mind is wondering tonight.

i once let a nurse get me hooked on pills, and really good blow jobs. i mean she had truly amazing oral abilities, and the desire to go all the way. there was a lot of whiskey, red wine, and some pot involved too... as i remember...

anyway, the point is " sometimes monks talk shit, but they can't back...
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it is unwise, and for me impossible to totally relax, and just let the flow of things take care of problems. but over the last few months that has been the lesson my world is trying to teach me.

i have hours that slip into days of worry about where moneys going to come from, and wondering if i'm doing enough, or the right thing....
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