llama

Okay, I have no idea where this is going to end up so please don't throw ripe fruit.

There seems to be a profound feeling of sadness when there is something you have to do that you know will inevitably put another hole in your heart and add to the scars that have built up. I know why you have to do it in the first place, on that one in a million chance that it won't turn out the same as it has for your entire life. And if you know you will eventually have to face it and deal with the pain of the wounds and the lengthy healing process, why do we tend to postpone the inevitable? It makes more sense to throw caution to the wind, get it over with and start the recovery. The waiting and the avoiding are torturous, and perhaps makes the outcome a self fulfilling prophecy. Perhaps if you boldly charge into the fire, you won't actually get burned. But we shy away from the flames, maybe hoping someone will put out the fire before we have to actually face the flames.

It reminds me of Charlie Brown. (I know, but follow me on this one). Charlie just wants more than anything to simply kick the football. But every time he tries, that Lucy bitch pulls it away, and you find yourself flying through the air, wondering before you hit the ground "why did I have to try again"? And that made me think. Who and what is Lucy in this quaint little metaphore? Is Lucy just a mean bitch, with only one thing on her mind, to pull the ball away and let Charlie get hurt? Is she life, teaching Charlie a hard lesson? Is she even the same every time Charlie tries to kick the football? If Charlie were to look back, would he ever see sadness on her face as if to say "Charlie, you poor fool, it is just my nature." Or possibly "I admire your fortitude and someday the time will be right, and you will get to kick the ball, today was just not that day". Does her expression change each time? And the football? Why doesn't he kick a soccer ball instead? No one needs to hold the soccer ball. But Charlie wants to kick the football. It must hold some intrinsic value that makes it worth the pain of failure. And perhaps trying to kick the ball is the adventure. If he were to actually kick the ball, would he ever try again? And is it the same every attempt? If Lucy and the football are always changing, what is constant? Charlie. He can chose to kick or not. He can chose to wait for someone else to hold the ball or not. Is he just being blind and stupid for trying over and over again for something he may never get? Is it really worth it to finally kick that ball? I would imagine it has to be. Or why try?

So what is Charlie to do.

I imagine by now you are just thinking "wtf is he on and can I get some?". Cant help you on that one, but I have some soccer balls you can have...