Fawk! So I am sorry, I can't help it. I need to vent.
I feel so sad and alone. My roomie that I just moved in with adoll is leaving to go back home and this makes me incredibly sad. I hope she does well for herself there and things are all good for her, but I can't help being selfish sometimes. She is my only fucking friend and now she is leaving me too. I don't want to, but I can't help but feel like I have some sort of personal flaw. I make friends, people that are important to me, and then they move away. And when they move away, I can't help but lose touch with them, because things are never the same when someone moves away.
Besides her, I have my boyfriend quidam who I love dearly, but you can't just spend all your time with your boyfriend. I do that and then we drive each other nuts. When your whole world (I mean WHOLE-EVERY FUCKING PART) revolves around your significant other, you can't help but drive each other nuts.
Otherwise, I have no contacts here. No one. How do you meet people when you know no one? Everyone I work with is 45+ and their kids are my age. There are no cool things I can join to meet people here. Fargo-Moorhead has NOTHING. I have one semi-friend who is a freak and refuses to acknowledge that I am back together with my boyfriend because that means he can't fuck or cuddle with me anymore. So everytime I see him, he sits there and tries to cuddle me, etc. I can't stand that!
I am so alone in this world. I feel that if I were a better friend adoll wouldn't have to leave. I don't make friends easily, and then when I make a friend, they leave. It's happened to PullOffMyWings, Gabster, and two other guy friends I have recently met. Why do I drive people away? What is wrong with me? I am going to turn around when I am 35 and realize I went through my whole life never having any close friends and missing out on any fun that may have been out there for me.
Whatever, If you actually read through all of this, thanks.
I feel so sad and alone. My roomie that I just moved in with adoll is leaving to go back home and this makes me incredibly sad. I hope she does well for herself there and things are all good for her, but I can't help being selfish sometimes. She is my only fucking friend and now she is leaving me too. I don't want to, but I can't help but feel like I have some sort of personal flaw. I make friends, people that are important to me, and then they move away. And when they move away, I can't help but lose touch with them, because things are never the same when someone moves away.
Besides her, I have my boyfriend quidam who I love dearly, but you can't just spend all your time with your boyfriend. I do that and then we drive each other nuts. When your whole world (I mean WHOLE-EVERY FUCKING PART) revolves around your significant other, you can't help but drive each other nuts.
Otherwise, I have no contacts here. No one. How do you meet people when you know no one? Everyone I work with is 45+ and their kids are my age. There are no cool things I can join to meet people here. Fargo-Moorhead has NOTHING. I have one semi-friend who is a freak and refuses to acknowledge that I am back together with my boyfriend because that means he can't fuck or cuddle with me anymore. So everytime I see him, he sits there and tries to cuddle me, etc. I can't stand that!
I am so alone in this world. I feel that if I were a better friend adoll wouldn't have to leave. I don't make friends easily, and then when I make a friend, they leave. It's happened to PullOffMyWings, Gabster, and two other guy friends I have recently met. Why do I drive people away? What is wrong with me? I am going to turn around when I am 35 and realize I went through my whole life never having any close friends and missing out on any fun that may have been out there for me.
Whatever, If you actually read through all of this, thanks.
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
quidam:
I dont have any friends either...I know what you mean
shawn_:
I wish I lived closer to you to help you through your tranistion. Sorry for you loss.