Happy Samhein, everyone!
Today is the Pagan new year, celebrating The Mother's tansition into her Crone phase. It's a time where the earth is beginning to wane into a time of darkness and solitude. This is a day for growing wiser and more intune with the Otherworld.
Personally, my life feels like it's wrapped up in dried stocks and dead grass; bound together with twine and vines, like a poppet. To be honest, I've been feeling quite alone. My mother has been away for nearly two months now. It's been years since I've seen my brother. And my dad...? Um...not sure if I have one, really...
I'm so grateful I have friends around me, but even my relationships have been growing dissonant and distant. I feel powerless and I've been having dreams of my teeth falling out.
I know this is such a downer-blog, and I'm sorry, but I find solice in writing about these things. In a few days, I'm sure I'll be back to my chipper, happy-go-lucky-self. But these past few days have been rough. I think it has something to do with this transition into the darkness.
"The Hermit," has been one of my many favorite tarot cards in the deck. You might know the image as Father Time, or even from Led Zeppline popluarizing the image. But The Hermit is a card that calls for interoversion, self-relection, alienation, and having time with one's thoughts alone. As much as I love this card, I think a lot of people (including myself) have a very difficult time coming to terms with the understanding of how nessassary he is. It's not that I'm a co-dependent, I don's have abandonment issues, or am scared of being alone...
It's just the when and the how, really. Sure, you may consider time to anylize yourself and how you see the world around you. But how for how long? ...and how, exactly, can we do this with a optimal benifit to fixing this problem in thinking. Our screwed perspectives? Our misled mindsets? When and how long?
I want to take today to do that, to find the answers to why...why, do I feel so alone, truly? Because, in reality, no one is ever alone. It's just funny, that today (of all days) I find myself in The Hermit position. Maybe, it's a good thing.
