I wish I could understand why life is so....
I don't know...
stupid...
i guess.
My brother is 3 years older than me, when he was out of high school, my family paid for his college tuition, for a private school dorm and everything...out of state, too.
My little sister, although I love her, is spoiled rotten, anything she wants, she gets...Victoria Secret this, or Vera Bradly that....I never got anything new unless it was from Goodwill, and that's thanks to my step dad who hated me.
No joke, man, this guy hated me.
When I was thirteen, I had been grounded for at LEAST 3+ years...my sister has never had anything taken away.
And when I say "grounded" I don't mean I wasn't allowed to chill with my friends...
I mean,
no friends
no internet
no tv
no phone
no door attached to my room
no music
no computer in general
I wasn't even allowed to have a diary.
So yeah, you want to talk about the short end of the stick, anything I wanted, I had to get.
I had to pay for my car, and insurance, and a phone, and everything I want...who buys it?
me.
no one else.
Why?
because no one gives a shit except my mother.
and my mother is just a broke as me.
why am I suddenly so hung up on this bullshit?
because there's a good chance I'm going to quit ANOTHER job, I would have been happy with.
But I can't get there because, frankly, I need help.
who can help me?
No one.
And this is why life is fucking stupid.
equality is nonexistent.
If my siblings wanted anything, they would have it handed to them.
Why do I work my ass off for nothing?
You tell me, because I'm fucking sick of wondering about this shit.
I don't know...
stupid...
i guess.
My brother is 3 years older than me, when he was out of high school, my family paid for his college tuition, for a private school dorm and everything...out of state, too.
My little sister, although I love her, is spoiled rotten, anything she wants, she gets...Victoria Secret this, or Vera Bradly that....I never got anything new unless it was from Goodwill, and that's thanks to my step dad who hated me.
No joke, man, this guy hated me.
When I was thirteen, I had been grounded for at LEAST 3+ years...my sister has never had anything taken away.
And when I say "grounded" I don't mean I wasn't allowed to chill with my friends...
I mean,
no friends
no internet
no tv
no phone
no door attached to my room
no music
no computer in general
I wasn't even allowed to have a diary.
So yeah, you want to talk about the short end of the stick, anything I wanted, I had to get.
I had to pay for my car, and insurance, and a phone, and everything I want...who buys it?
me.
no one else.
Why?
because no one gives a shit except my mother.
and my mother is just a broke as me.
why am I suddenly so hung up on this bullshit?
because there's a good chance I'm going to quit ANOTHER job, I would have been happy with.
But I can't get there because, frankly, I need help.
who can help me?
No one.
And this is why life is fucking stupid.
equality is nonexistent.
If my siblings wanted anything, they would have it handed to them.
Why do I work my ass off for nothing?
You tell me, because I'm fucking sick of wondering about this shit.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
growing up doesn't just mean you turning 30, for many of us it means out growing our parents. as a middle child we learn and understand that our own parents can unknowingly favor our siblings, and step-parents can be worse.
it took me awhile to learn to put my jealousy towards my brothers aside and just live!
so...what are you working for?...i don't work-my-ass of so my boss will be happy to have me, i work so my co-workers won't ever talk bad about me(he's lazy and shit like that). in doing this they will talk me up to my boss and he thinks i'm more valuable than i actually might be! now because i've worked-my-ass off i have options, such as being able to quit a current job and having a job come monday morning. that all starts with my Name, my co-workers being happy when they speak my Name, when an employer hears "it's Sean" calling they are happy and willing to put me to work!
to over come this feeling of "not having" i've turned it around and try very hard to be generous towards others as the giving is a reward by itself so why? you ask....for yourself now, that's why!
with the love take care and remember to BREATHE
music to love with the heart