livingin77

I spent part of my night last night driving around, torturing myself by listening to songs that remind me way too much of past loves and lusts.

I then attended 'boys night out' as I am just one of the boys, and got pretty fucked up. I left before anyone else, despite the fact that crushboy was present. I just had the urge to go home and be creative. I pulled some semi-decent things out of my ass, but nothing that really satisfied my urge.

I need to spend time with H to get the creative juices flowing.

If I lived with him I would constantly be creating, constantly be writing.

He's such a beautiful person, and I don't think he realizes this, and even if he does, I don't think he realizes that I realize this.

And now I must go buy bleach.