don't ask me why i just feel like writing the story i told my friend when she asked me to tell her a cheesy fairy tale. so what. I'm still macho.
onse upon a time there was a troll. This troll lived alone under a bridge. one day a beautiful princess came across the bridge. The troll jumped out to eat her but when he saw her gentle, fragile beauty he just couldn't bring himself to do it.
The troll thought of her for days on end. he had fallen in love with the beautiful princess and tried to think of a way to win her heart.
He left dead things on her doorstep, a very common courting gesture among trolls. He killed armed men he found standing outside her doorway, unfortunatly he found out they were just the royal guard. He wrote her a lovely poem about mud and slime, one that would move even the meanest trolls to tears. no matter what he did though, he coud not get her to talk to him.
He soon discovered that there was going to be a ball in which the princess would choose her husband. Reaching the very edge of desperation, he sought the Witch of the Woods(TM). she cast a spell upon him to make him into a very handsome man and told him that she could not reverse the spell and if the princess didn't kiss him by midnight (who'd of thunk it) he'd die. (bum-bum-bum, dramatc reverb)
The troll went to the party and made sure he got her attention by being the loudest most boisterous man there.
He carfully approached her and told her that he was in love with her and had been for some time.
The princess said that he was an obnoxious man who would never win her heart. She wanted someone sweet and kind like that poor troll who had been leaving her gifts the last few days. she spoke those words as the the bell began to chime twelve. The troll fell dead on the spot, not from the witches curse but from a broken heart. he never heard the final chime of midnight.
for those of you who keep asking
1. there is no happy ever after to this fairy tale because i don't do happy ever after
2. the moral is don't seek witches in the woods, ok maybe not, don't change who you are for a chick, not kosher
onse upon a time there was a troll. This troll lived alone under a bridge. one day a beautiful princess came across the bridge. The troll jumped out to eat her but when he saw her gentle, fragile beauty he just couldn't bring himself to do it.
The troll thought of her for days on end. he had fallen in love with the beautiful princess and tried to think of a way to win her heart.
He left dead things on her doorstep, a very common courting gesture among trolls. He killed armed men he found standing outside her doorway, unfortunatly he found out they were just the royal guard. He wrote her a lovely poem about mud and slime, one that would move even the meanest trolls to tears. no matter what he did though, he coud not get her to talk to him.
He soon discovered that there was going to be a ball in which the princess would choose her husband. Reaching the very edge of desperation, he sought the Witch of the Woods(TM). she cast a spell upon him to make him into a very handsome man and told him that she could not reverse the spell and if the princess didn't kiss him by midnight (who'd of thunk it) he'd die. (bum-bum-bum, dramatc reverb)
The troll went to the party and made sure he got her attention by being the loudest most boisterous man there.
He carfully approached her and told her that he was in love with her and had been for some time.
The princess said that he was an obnoxious man who would never win her heart. She wanted someone sweet and kind like that poor troll who had been leaving her gifts the last few days. she spoke those words as the the bell began to chime twelve. The troll fell dead on the spot, not from the witches curse but from a broken heart. he never heard the final chime of midnight.
for those of you who keep asking
1. there is no happy ever after to this fairy tale because i don't do happy ever after
2. the moral is don't seek witches in the woods, ok maybe not, don't change who you are for a chick, not kosher