littleredwriter

Its kind of like a bad relationship thats about to endyou stay because of the good moments, knowing that its going nowhere and that something (someone) better is out there. You realize that its only a matter of time I quit my job over a month ago and was asked to stay to help out during a busy couple of weeks and then, I decided that its probably bad timing for me to look for more work since I will be going out of town soI asked for an extension. SoIm going through the motionsI know that I need this job while at the same time, feeling trapped, althoughtrying to maintain a good attitude.

So many good things are happening which make me feel very happy and contentI think people at work are excited about hearing about the book stuff but I try not to speak of it constantly as I dont want to appearboastful or somethingI talk a lot. I am a chatterbox but there are other times when I dont speak at all. Im thinking or focusing. So

Theres this new girl. Shes nice although a bit odd and sometimes annoying. I see a lot of my old self in her, in some ways. She makes a lot of snide remarks to me seemingly trying to antagonize a la passive/aggressive. Im uncertain as to why. You know the type of person Im speaking of. Jokingbut not really, takes everything personally, narcissistic. I tolerate comments for a bit before reactingas to assess the situationonce its reoccurring behavior, I respond.

Im standing at the dishwasher cleaning off a plate before I put it on the dirty dish counter and she comes up behind me and says, Isnt it funny that youre always in my way? and I respond, Isnt it funny that you think its always about you and she says, You know, in psychology they say that when people point things out about other people, they are usually talking about themselves and I respond, Thats true, they do say that and Id be glad to speak more about psychology because I know a bit about it and I find it inspiring and she said, I dont really want to. End of conversation.

A while later she is having a conversation with another co-worker which Im not listening to because Im focused and working but I hear my name followed by another, Im just kidding and I said, What was that? and she says, Oh, Im just kidding, and I said, Yeah, I heard that but I didnt hear what you initially said. And she said, I said that I try to be happy at work unlike Jolene and I said, Oh, really? Im very happy. My life rocks right now. Just because Im not smiling or not speaking doesnt mean Im not happy. Which is true. Silence does not equate displeasure although I know that its often associated with, unhappiness etc. I read in the book, The Mother Tongue: English and how it got that way by Bill Bryson that English speakers are the most uncomfortable with silences. I will try to find the quote anywayIm really just babbling now. I suppose Im just in need of a good old-fashioned rant. The girl gets on my nerves. It doesnt help that she constantly goes around joking about wanting to find a rich man to take care of her. Annoying. Gross. Shes probably not serious but thinking about those kind of people who actually exist is incredibly gross to me. I could never be with a man because of his money even if that meant he would take me all over the world or assure me that I would never have to work. I would be disgusted and miserable. At the same time, I could never be with a man who sat on his booty and watched television all day while munching on greasy potato chips and drinking beer. But seriously, the money thing. Thats gross. And about the girlshes the kind of girl who will ask you to do something for her when shes totally capable of doing it herself and if you deny her the favor she will get all pissy. I know this behavior because I used to behave like that. Chip on her shoulderyou know the kind..

I gotta go!