Since you asked, I shall tell you how I got my first book, Go Ask Ogre: Letters from a Deathrock Cutter published.
This is how it happened.
In Spring of 20001 I ran into Ogre from Skinny Puppy. I hadnt seen him since 1992 when he was touring with Pigface.
The first thing he said to me was that he still had my letters. What letters, you ask? Letters that I had written to him from 1987-1989. I was a prolific writer and though our correspondence was for the most part one sided (he wrote to me once), I continued to write and write and write. I had met him early in the correspondence and he encouraged my writing as he saw that I was going though a very difficult time in my life.
I decorated each letteras I did with my pen-pals (which I had many). It filled a huge void in my life
In 1989 when I moved to Pittsburgh to go to Art School my writing to Ogre tapered offThe last letter sent to Ogre was in 1991
I moved to Los Angeles & lost all contact with Ogre. I still thought about the letters. To be quite honest, I was afraid of their existence. I was certain that I would be married with children by the time I got them backI knew that I had written some dark things and I suppose I wasnt ready to face the facts.
Luckily, the letters found me when I had accepted my past and after I had had extensive therapy.
When I told my friend Gilden Tunador that Ogre was going to return my letters she suggested that I write a book. I said, No way! Do you have any idea what the content was? I was a cutter. I wrote about it. I was obsessive. Its embarrassing. She said that it could help people. I thought about it and I agreed she might just be right.
It took about a year before I actually had the letters back in my hands. They arrived in August 2002. I had already begun to do research. I read books about young depressed adults ( Go Ask Alice edited by Beatrice Sparks, Girl Interrupted by Susana Kayson, Prozac Nation by Elizabeth Wurtzel, Cut by Patricia Mccormick , Skin Game by Caroline Kettlewell) as well as music biographies such as The Dirt by Motley Crue and young adult novels such as Please Dont Kill the Freshman: A Memoir by Zoe Trope and The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky I purchased many How to Get Published types of books. There are so many out there. I think I have all of them.
I did much research online about cutting & self-injury. I would alternate between research and transcribing. Transcribing took A LOT of time. I mean, A LOTI even purchased a software program called Via Voice to assist me. I was hoping that it would expedite the process but I honestly think it set me back. I trained it to understand my voice but it made many mistakes. It also did not accept profanity, and I used MUCH profanity so I would say:
Im so fucking excited! Im going to see Clan of Xymox this weekend in Detroit
and it would transcribe:
Im so flocking eggs hide it! On going to sea can of sigh mocks this week android
I spent more time correcting the mistakes.
So, in the meantime, I was also working full time as a kilt wearing waitress at The Tam OShanter and I was a full time student at Glendale Community College. ANDdue to the nature of the letters, I was also a bit depressed.
In January of 2003 I began to search for an agent. My friends Bob & Kari who are both screen writers (and the coolest couple by the way), helped me with my book query. I also contacted some publishers. I got some interest and ALMOST landed representation by a very cool New York literary agentbut was rejected. I was told that my book had potential to be mainstream and successful but they wouldnt have me.
I continued to send queries. At this time I stopped reaching out to agents and began to contact Publishers directly. I even made a few editor friends in the processstill, a lot of rejection. BTWI should mention that each publisher requests different kinds of proposals. Some want 3 chapters, some want an outline, some want 30 pages, some want 60 pagesso I wasnt able to have a master to work with. I had to tailor make each proposal. I went through tons of paper and ink cartridges. I was working my poor little printer to bits. Seriously, I squeezed every bit of life out of that little HP. Another thing I should mention is that because there is a lot of art in my book I spent many hours at Kinkos making color copies. If I had to do it over again I would have just purchased a laser printer because those copies are NOT cheapSending out book proposals are not cheap. You cant send out a proposal or manuscript and expect a return without return postage.
So, depending on my mood and motivation, I would alternate between research (lots of reading) sending out queries and transcribing. I was very dedicated. I would cancel dates with guys I liked, missed parties I wanted to go to and either stay up all night or rise at absurd hours (like 7am on a Sunday- who does that???)
The Book Expo was to take place in May 2003 and for my birthday that year my aunt bought me a 3 day pass and paid for me to attend an author workshop. I loved it. I made up 10 promotional proposals. It was fun & creative AND expensive to put together. I pitched my booty off. I looked at each booth and spoke to prospective publishers. Jodi Wille (the editor of Go Ask Ogre) was at the expo pitching some Dilettante Press books. It was then that she introduced me to Adam Parfrey from Feral House.
I followed up with my all of the contacts at the expo, however I did not land a publishing deal. That summer Jodi told me that she wanted to edit my book but that she was working on some projects. I put up website to serve as an online book proposal. I got a lot of feedback mostly from Skinny Puppy fans at this point due to the fact that the letters were written to Ogre and that that there would include some Skinny Puppy memorabilia. I reached out to people on various message boards to get their feedback. I wanted to know if the content was interesting to other peopleMost people seemed to identify with the excerpts that I posted.
I was determined to get the last of the letters transcribed. It took some time before I found a naming convention for my files and to make sure that I transcribed everything I photocopied every letter. YES, EVERY LETTER. I cant tell you how many hours exactly that I spent at Kinkos but I can tell you that they all knew my name at that point
I then read everything in chronological orderand began to transcribe making notes on the copies of what was finished. THIS TOOK AGES. It made me crazy. I would think I was close butNOPE. I was working at LA Graphico at the time. I got two 10-minute breaks and one hour break each day and I would transcribe entries via email. I would go home each night and copy and paste into word documents. I thought I would never finish. My co-workers knew that it was in there best interest to NOT disturb me while I was doing so. It could be dangerous otherwise. I was very focused.
October 2003. My fucking imac crashed. It bit the dust and took with itmany, many files that I had failed to back up. I sure did learn my lesson with that. BACK UP YOUR FILES!!!
It was November on 2003 when Jodi requested my entire manuscript and began to give it more attention as her schedule allowed.
In Spring of 2004 Jodi and I were speaking regularly about Go Ask Ogre. At the time she told me that she would help me to package the book so she needed everything. I copied everything I had and passed it on to her.
In August of 2004 Jodi called me and told me that she and Adam Parfrey were starting a new press to be called, Process and that Go Ask Ogre would be one of the first releasesI was so ecstatic because I knew that she shared my vision.
The Letters
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v732/LittleRedWriter/letters1.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com">
I began doing hi-resolution scans for the book at the Dilettante office. THIS also took AGES. It was nice to have my little Peppper (the coolest dog in the world!) there to keep me company. I scanned every photograph I had from that era and anything that looked interesting form the 73 letters, 14 postcards and 5 notebooks of material that I had. ALL OF IT.
Pepper (Pepe/Peppercini)
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v732/LittleRedWriter/pepper.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com">
Oh by the way, I would like to mention that the summer of 2004 while I ran off to Europe with two my best of friends Visa & Mastercard, I was also unemployed. Yep, then when I returned to LA I couldnt get a waitressing job to save my life BUT I got a book deal.
Absurd!
In the fall of 2004 Jodi and I were going back and forth with the editing. I was kind of a nervous wreck for some reason. I had a hard time focusing and had insomnia. I finally found a server job and I was working the breakfast shift then I would work with Jodi at night
I also got to meet Gregg Einhorn the designer who Jodi & Adam hired for Go Ask Ogre. Jodi asked me to bring over the actual letters so that Gregg could get a feel for them. I liked that he really paid attention to detail. I also liked that he asked me what made me decide to publish my letters. He seemed genuinely interested.
It was December 2004 and Jodi told me that the manuscript felt a bit thin in the winter of 1988 and asked if I had any more material. It turns out that I had missed a lot! So there I was transcribing AGAIN! Hours & hoursI felt as if I were chained to my computer.
In January of 2005 Jodi gave me my edited manuscript, much thinner than the one I had given to her. We had to make a lot sacrifices. There was so much material and wellthats life. Who knows? I may post the material on my website someday or perhaps an expanded version of the book. We shall see.
The book went to press in February.
April 2005 I hold a bound copy of Go Ask Ogre for the first time.
May 2005, Jodi tells me that the books are not printed as they should be and have to go to press yet AGAIN. All copies will be shredded and recycled. The book is delayed.
There you have it.
Thats where we are at the moment.
I will be published. I will be naked. As mentioned in a previous blog Im not too concerned about being criticized for my prose. I was not writing the material thinking that it might be published someday. Of course I have other worries but I try not to give that too much thought.
I guess what Im trying to say is that if you try hard enough, you are able to reach your goals. You really have to be dedicated though. Dont give up. There will be plenty of people to tell you to move ona smart friend of mine told me that I should just post the material on my website and begin with something newbut I didnt take his advice. Listen youre your heart-yO!
Good energy to you
~Jolene
<iframe src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=goaskogre-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=0976082217&fc1=000000&=1&lc1=0000ff&bc1=000000<1=_blank&IS2=1&f=ifr&bg1=ffffff&f=ifr" width="120" height="240" scrolling="no" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" frameborder="0">
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Jodi Wille & Adam Parfrey
<A href=" http://processmediainc.com/">Process</A>
Adam Parfrey
<A href="http://www.feralhouse.com/">Feral House</A>
Jodi Wille
<A href="http://www.dilettantepress.com/">Dilettante Press</A>
Gregg Einhorn/Designer
<A href="http://betweenhereandthere.com/welcome.html">Between Here And There</A>
<A href="http://www.goaskogre.com
">Go Ask Ogre </A>
<A href="http://www.jolenesiana.com">My collection of words, art & photographs...</A>
This is how it happened.
In Spring of 20001 I ran into Ogre from Skinny Puppy. I hadnt seen him since 1992 when he was touring with Pigface.
The first thing he said to me was that he still had my letters. What letters, you ask? Letters that I had written to him from 1987-1989. I was a prolific writer and though our correspondence was for the most part one sided (he wrote to me once), I continued to write and write and write. I had met him early in the correspondence and he encouraged my writing as he saw that I was going though a very difficult time in my life.
I decorated each letteras I did with my pen-pals (which I had many). It filled a huge void in my life
In 1989 when I moved to Pittsburgh to go to Art School my writing to Ogre tapered offThe last letter sent to Ogre was in 1991
I moved to Los Angeles & lost all contact with Ogre. I still thought about the letters. To be quite honest, I was afraid of their existence. I was certain that I would be married with children by the time I got them backI knew that I had written some dark things and I suppose I wasnt ready to face the facts.
Luckily, the letters found me when I had accepted my past and after I had had extensive therapy.
When I told my friend Gilden Tunador that Ogre was going to return my letters she suggested that I write a book. I said, No way! Do you have any idea what the content was? I was a cutter. I wrote about it. I was obsessive. Its embarrassing. She said that it could help people. I thought about it and I agreed she might just be right.
It took about a year before I actually had the letters back in my hands. They arrived in August 2002. I had already begun to do research. I read books about young depressed adults ( Go Ask Alice edited by Beatrice Sparks, Girl Interrupted by Susana Kayson, Prozac Nation by Elizabeth Wurtzel, Cut by Patricia Mccormick , Skin Game by Caroline Kettlewell) as well as music biographies such as The Dirt by Motley Crue and young adult novels such as Please Dont Kill the Freshman: A Memoir by Zoe Trope and The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky I purchased many How to Get Published types of books. There are so many out there. I think I have all of them.
I did much research online about cutting & self-injury. I would alternate between research and transcribing. Transcribing took A LOT of time. I mean, A LOTI even purchased a software program called Via Voice to assist me. I was hoping that it would expedite the process but I honestly think it set me back. I trained it to understand my voice but it made many mistakes. It also did not accept profanity, and I used MUCH profanity so I would say:
Im so fucking excited! Im going to see Clan of Xymox this weekend in Detroit
and it would transcribe:
Im so flocking eggs hide it! On going to sea can of sigh mocks this week android
I spent more time correcting the mistakes.
So, in the meantime, I was also working full time as a kilt wearing waitress at The Tam OShanter and I was a full time student at Glendale Community College. ANDdue to the nature of the letters, I was also a bit depressed.
In January of 2003 I began to search for an agent. My friends Bob & Kari who are both screen writers (and the coolest couple by the way), helped me with my book query. I also contacted some publishers. I got some interest and ALMOST landed representation by a very cool New York literary agentbut was rejected. I was told that my book had potential to be mainstream and successful but they wouldnt have me.
I continued to send queries. At this time I stopped reaching out to agents and began to contact Publishers directly. I even made a few editor friends in the processstill, a lot of rejection. BTWI should mention that each publisher requests different kinds of proposals. Some want 3 chapters, some want an outline, some want 30 pages, some want 60 pagesso I wasnt able to have a master to work with. I had to tailor make each proposal. I went through tons of paper and ink cartridges. I was working my poor little printer to bits. Seriously, I squeezed every bit of life out of that little HP. Another thing I should mention is that because there is a lot of art in my book I spent many hours at Kinkos making color copies. If I had to do it over again I would have just purchased a laser printer because those copies are NOT cheapSending out book proposals are not cheap. You cant send out a proposal or manuscript and expect a return without return postage.
So, depending on my mood and motivation, I would alternate between research (lots of reading) sending out queries and transcribing. I was very dedicated. I would cancel dates with guys I liked, missed parties I wanted to go to and either stay up all night or rise at absurd hours (like 7am on a Sunday- who does that???)
The Book Expo was to take place in May 2003 and for my birthday that year my aunt bought me a 3 day pass and paid for me to attend an author workshop. I loved it. I made up 10 promotional proposals. It was fun & creative AND expensive to put together. I pitched my booty off. I looked at each booth and spoke to prospective publishers. Jodi Wille (the editor of Go Ask Ogre) was at the expo pitching some Dilettante Press books. It was then that she introduced me to Adam Parfrey from Feral House.
I followed up with my all of the contacts at the expo, however I did not land a publishing deal. That summer Jodi told me that she wanted to edit my book but that she was working on some projects. I put up website to serve as an online book proposal. I got a lot of feedback mostly from Skinny Puppy fans at this point due to the fact that the letters were written to Ogre and that that there would include some Skinny Puppy memorabilia. I reached out to people on various message boards to get their feedback. I wanted to know if the content was interesting to other peopleMost people seemed to identify with the excerpts that I posted.
I was determined to get the last of the letters transcribed. It took some time before I found a naming convention for my files and to make sure that I transcribed everything I photocopied every letter. YES, EVERY LETTER. I cant tell you how many hours exactly that I spent at Kinkos but I can tell you that they all knew my name at that point
I then read everything in chronological orderand began to transcribe making notes on the copies of what was finished. THIS TOOK AGES. It made me crazy. I would think I was close butNOPE. I was working at LA Graphico at the time. I got two 10-minute breaks and one hour break each day and I would transcribe entries via email. I would go home each night and copy and paste into word documents. I thought I would never finish. My co-workers knew that it was in there best interest to NOT disturb me while I was doing so. It could be dangerous otherwise. I was very focused.
October 2003. My fucking imac crashed. It bit the dust and took with itmany, many files that I had failed to back up. I sure did learn my lesson with that. BACK UP YOUR FILES!!!
It was November on 2003 when Jodi requested my entire manuscript and began to give it more attention as her schedule allowed.
In Spring of 2004 Jodi and I were speaking regularly about Go Ask Ogre. At the time she told me that she would help me to package the book so she needed everything. I copied everything I had and passed it on to her.
In August of 2004 Jodi called me and told me that she and Adam Parfrey were starting a new press to be called, Process and that Go Ask Ogre would be one of the first releasesI was so ecstatic because I knew that she shared my vision.
The Letters
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v732/LittleRedWriter/letters1.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com">
I began doing hi-resolution scans for the book at the Dilettante office. THIS also took AGES. It was nice to have my little Peppper (the coolest dog in the world!) there to keep me company. I scanned every photograph I had from that era and anything that looked interesting form the 73 letters, 14 postcards and 5 notebooks of material that I had. ALL OF IT.
Pepper (Pepe/Peppercini)
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v732/LittleRedWriter/pepper.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com">
Oh by the way, I would like to mention that the summer of 2004 while I ran off to Europe with two my best of friends Visa & Mastercard, I was also unemployed. Yep, then when I returned to LA I couldnt get a waitressing job to save my life BUT I got a book deal.
Absurd!
In the fall of 2004 Jodi and I were going back and forth with the editing. I was kind of a nervous wreck for some reason. I had a hard time focusing and had insomnia. I finally found a server job and I was working the breakfast shift then I would work with Jodi at night
I also got to meet Gregg Einhorn the designer who Jodi & Adam hired for Go Ask Ogre. Jodi asked me to bring over the actual letters so that Gregg could get a feel for them. I liked that he really paid attention to detail. I also liked that he asked me what made me decide to publish my letters. He seemed genuinely interested.
It was December 2004 and Jodi told me that the manuscript felt a bit thin in the winter of 1988 and asked if I had any more material. It turns out that I had missed a lot! So there I was transcribing AGAIN! Hours & hoursI felt as if I were chained to my computer.
In January of 2005 Jodi gave me my edited manuscript, much thinner than the one I had given to her. We had to make a lot sacrifices. There was so much material and wellthats life. Who knows? I may post the material on my website someday or perhaps an expanded version of the book. We shall see.
The book went to press in February.
April 2005 I hold a bound copy of Go Ask Ogre for the first time.
May 2005, Jodi tells me that the books are not printed as they should be and have to go to press yet AGAIN. All copies will be shredded and recycled. The book is delayed.
There you have it.
Thats where we are at the moment.
I will be published. I will be naked. As mentioned in a previous blog Im not too concerned about being criticized for my prose. I was not writing the material thinking that it might be published someday. Of course I have other worries but I try not to give that too much thought.
I guess what Im trying to say is that if you try hard enough, you are able to reach your goals. You really have to be dedicated though. Dont give up. There will be plenty of people to tell you to move ona smart friend of mine told me that I should just post the material on my website and begin with something newbut I didnt take his advice. Listen youre your heart-yO!
Good energy to you
~Jolene
<iframe src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=goaskogre-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=0976082217&fc1=000000&=1&lc1=0000ff&bc1=000000<1=_blank&IS2=1&f=ifr&bg1=ffffff&f=ifr" width="120" height="240" scrolling="no" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" frameborder="0">
</iframe>
Jodi Wille & Adam Parfrey
<A href=" http://processmediainc.com/">Process</A>
Adam Parfrey
<A href="http://www.feralhouse.com/">Feral House</A>
Jodi Wille
<A href="http://www.dilettantepress.com/">Dilettante Press</A>
Gregg Einhorn/Designer
<A href="http://betweenhereandthere.com/welcome.html">Between Here And There</A>
<A href="http://www.goaskogre.com
">Go Ask Ogre </A>
<A href="http://www.jolenesiana.com">My collection of words, art & photographs...</A>
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
jasechase:
right on, i can't wait to get a copy!
zgrat:
ooh it's out?