Well, depressing shit.
I am pretty open to most things, intellectually, sexually and any other way. I am not easily offended. Been married for six years now and have a really good relationship in most ways. I just don't understand the stupid mentality about not being able to be open with your wife. Is it me, or does he just feel more comfortable looking at pictures of everyone else but me? He has an incredible foot fetish. He has banks of pictures of random woman's feet he takes with his nifty camera phone. Not just random, actually, friends of ours, too. I don't know if I am wrong to feel the way I do. It's not the pictures, actually, it's the secrecy; why can't he be more open and ask me to trample him instead of addictivly scanning the internet of any movies or pictures of the act? It would sure save us a whole lot of money! He says I am intimidating. From what I can see from the shit he looks at, he sure likes intimidating, but not with me. I think it is weak to prefer to have a somewhat sexual relationship with the internet than face it in the bedroom.
Anyway, I feel like I've been married 50 years instead of 6. According to him, I am some sort of sex fiend. More than once every two months is fiendish in his eyes. I guess he gets his kicks somewhere else. Had a friend ask me to buy her a vibrator in case she wasn't home when it was delivered and her husband opended it. Had a look at the website, but feel damn depressed that I should be reduced to using a little gadget to get off when I have the man of my dreams living with me. No offence to people who use vibrators, they are just not for me.
It also helps with a feeling of closeness in a relationship. I feel like I am living with a flatmate instead of a partner. I feel horrible and wonder what the fuck is wrong with me. I do tend to think everything is my problem, but if it wasn't then it wouldn't be happening, would it?
Shit. Going to see an exhibit about the Castrati. Maybe it will give me some ideas. Maybe I will just cut the damn thing off so I can use it whenever I want.
I am pretty open to most things, intellectually, sexually and any other way. I am not easily offended. Been married for six years now and have a really good relationship in most ways. I just don't understand the stupid mentality about not being able to be open with your wife. Is it me, or does he just feel more comfortable looking at pictures of everyone else but me? He has an incredible foot fetish. He has banks of pictures of random woman's feet he takes with his nifty camera phone. Not just random, actually, friends of ours, too. I don't know if I am wrong to feel the way I do. It's not the pictures, actually, it's the secrecy; why can't he be more open and ask me to trample him instead of addictivly scanning the internet of any movies or pictures of the act? It would sure save us a whole lot of money! He says I am intimidating. From what I can see from the shit he looks at, he sure likes intimidating, but not with me. I think it is weak to prefer to have a somewhat sexual relationship with the internet than face it in the bedroom.
Anyway, I feel like I've been married 50 years instead of 6. According to him, I am some sort of sex fiend. More than once every two months is fiendish in his eyes. I guess he gets his kicks somewhere else. Had a friend ask me to buy her a vibrator in case she wasn't home when it was delivered and her husband opended it. Had a look at the website, but feel damn depressed that I should be reduced to using a little gadget to get off when I have the man of my dreams living with me. No offence to people who use vibrators, they are just not for me.
It also helps with a feeling of closeness in a relationship. I feel like I am living with a flatmate instead of a partner. I feel horrible and wonder what the fuck is wrong with me. I do tend to think everything is my problem, but if it wasn't then it wouldn't be happening, would it?
Shit. Going to see an exhibit about the Castrati. Maybe it will give me some ideas. Maybe I will just cut the damn thing off so I can use it whenever I want.
This whole situation sounds eerily familiar. My marriage imploded under the weight of my actions (or inaction) while on meds for depression/anxiety/etc. If this is a growing problem and you value your marriage, seek counseling. Seriously.
Take care, LittleMissElliot.