Subject: rambling...thoughts
If I were to be one of those people who lived life with regret and grudges then I would be utterly disappointing and even more depressing than I already am. I try to understand their circumstances but cant imagine life in their shoes. I mean I already have a hard time with things as it is.
I truly believe Im probably more comfortable miserable than when I am happy. All things considered, I feel as if misery has been my companion for so long, its surreal when anything actually does go my way or things are looking up for a brief moment. I look at happiness as an unexpected surprise. And then it usually ends fatally and leaves me disappointed yet once again.
I get high on life at times, and the rest of it is usually spent away in my dark shadowy thoughts of eternal loneness. Who knows? Im not complaining, no, certainly not. But just taking it all in, I mean shit this is my life right?
I find myself waking up and saying oh, its another day? or dayam, cant I just go back to sleep?. When do I get to be excited about a day well rarely, but I do have them. Just not as many as I would like.
Its not that Im unhappy with anything particularly about my life right now, Im just not comfortable with things around me. Im just tired I guess.
If I were to be one of those people who lived life with regret and grudges then I would be utterly disappointing and even more depressing than I already am. I try to understand their circumstances but cant imagine life in their shoes. I mean I already have a hard time with things as it is.
I truly believe Im probably more comfortable miserable than when I am happy. All things considered, I feel as if misery has been my companion for so long, its surreal when anything actually does go my way or things are looking up for a brief moment. I look at happiness as an unexpected surprise. And then it usually ends fatally and leaves me disappointed yet once again.
I get high on life at times, and the rest of it is usually spent away in my dark shadowy thoughts of eternal loneness. Who knows? Im not complaining, no, certainly not. But just taking it all in, I mean shit this is my life right?
I find myself waking up and saying oh, its another day? or dayam, cant I just go back to sleep?. When do I get to be excited about a day well rarely, but I do have them. Just not as many as I would like.
Its not that Im unhappy with anything particularly about my life right now, Im just not comfortable with things around me. Im just tired I guess.
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they actually called me today asking for stuff to ship my camera and it was like talking to someone who was stoned and trying to talk to two people at the same time.
oh did i mention you are too hot.