linusvanpelt

MOVIES USED TO BE A THING:

Some Thoughts On The Theatrical Film Industry By A Total Outsider Who Loves Filmgoing

INTRO

SO, this is the time of year when I usually compile my Top Ten Movie List. I generally keep it to films I saw theatrically that were released in that year--rarely do I go with movies I saw "on video" (showing my age here) or movies that were released in a prior year but I saw that year. Of course in 2020 theaters shut down for most of the Country (and World) starting in the middle of March. Many but not all theaters started re-opening in reduced capacity in the later summer.

For reasons I cannot fathom, the Industry was closely watching the Christopher Nolan film Tenet as it was the first major release since the shut-down (at least in America) to open theatrically (smaller films opened here and there and other "not a chance in hell" movies The New Mutants and Unhinged also were released). Why it was thought a hard-to-follow cold sci-fi(ish) movie with no major stars would be what "saved" moviegoing is beyond me (Warners, EVERYone's favorite Studio right now, probably would have had a better shot with Wonder Woman 1984, but as we'll see, they had other plans for that one).

Since Tenet "failed" at the Box Office (it actually didn't--it did probably as well as could have been expected--and as an aside I LIKED the movie in a "Christopher Nolan" fashion) more and more studios started panicking, including, of course, Warners, so movies were essentially cleared from the 2020 release docket almost entirely. Some are going right to streaming (such as Coming 2 America to Amazon Prime), some are just being delayed (many delayed more than once such as No Time To Die, the new James Bond epic, which also flirted with bypassing theaters to streaming and still might in my opinion). And some are going to try a hybrid theatrical/streaming model (Wonder Woman 1984 is the first of Warner's entire 2020/2021 slate to try this--currently it's playing in theaters and on HBO Max, where it will reside for 31 days and then become straight theatrical for, I would guess, a month and then go the traditional VOD model). The hybrid model is highly controversial in that Warners rolled this strategy out without letting any of those film's stakeholders know in advance. This is a larger subject for a different time (like Luke's lightsaber being in the hands of Maz Kanata) but time will tell if Warners ends up backing down from this (I suspect they will for the second half of the year on the non-marginal movies like Dune).

So, all of the above has made it so I don't "really" have a Top Ten Movie List this year. I will probably cobble one together (I need to see The War With Grandpa, which seems like a safe bet to be in the ol' Top Five--De Niro in a comedy? How can it fail? But I digress). Here's the sum total of films I saw theatrically in 2020:

Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise Of Skywalker(a second time, 2019)-1/1/20

Harley Quinn (I refuse to type out that stupid long title)-2/8/20

Once Were Brothers: Robbie Robertson & The Band-3/10/20

I had pre-ordered tickets for a Fathom Events showing of the original 1933 King Kong; opening night of No Time To Die; and opening night of A Quiet Place II. These would have been for March and April, but when theaters closed my tickets were refunded (I think I canceled King Kong--that might have been one of the last days theaters were opened still). But once theaters closed in March I assumed (which Felix Unger tells us not to do and why) I would still be seeing movies in theaters by the autumn (I was not optimistic theaters would re-open by Easter). As time went on and things didn't improve (well, they DID improve when people took it seriously and as time went on got bored and said "screw it" and amazingly the numbers of infections skyrocketed) more and more studios started pushing movies to the end of 2020 or straight on into 2021.

THE ISSUE

So, both the Studio Industry and the Theater Industry (which I am considering two separate entities that form a symbiotic circle like the Naboo and the Gungans--not sure where all the Star Wars references are coming from--I'll try to stop) are hurting due to the COVID-19. Studios have no viable place to release their films physically and Theaters don't have new blockbuster films to exhibit. Given Tenet and how it performed (or underperformed) complicated things because here was a Major Studio Release given prime theater real estate. Both Industries were working and hoping in conjunction for success. But then something happened. Something bad (and possibly expected):

Even when the theaters were opened with a big $200 million dollar tentpole film people mostly stayed home.

Sure, some people went. From what I understand the theaters have done an admirable job with keeping things clean and safe. But people, by and large, are just not ready to go to the movies. This is reasonable for more than one reason but the two main reasons would be:

1-There's still a fear of being infected by COVID-19

2-Nobody wants to watch a movie while wearing a facemask

Since Tenet there's been a very small number of new movies released theatrically in America, and to be honest they aren't exactly "cream of the crop" titles (De Niro's latest crapfest and the Croods 2). Otherwise it's been some indie films or re-releases of older movies (mostly films released since the 1990s or so), so many weeks the top five grossing films in America list has movies that didn't even gross $1 million, which probably has not happened in 40 years or more.

So, even with theaters opened there just isn't a call for movies right now. People have been getting their entertainment elsewhere (how else to explain the massive success earlier in the lockdown of Tiger King which is, admittedly, a pretty fascinating show?).

When (and, importantly, will) people again feel comfortable having a theatrical moviegoing experience? I would think once the vaccine (I'm sorry--the "Trump Vaccine" as so named by Geraldo Riviera with his "let's open Al Capone's vault on live television" wisdom) is widely distributed. When will that be? It's hard to say. I would think optimistically by later in the Spring, but realistically probably after the July 4th holiday. There's a smattering of movies set for release in the first quarter of 2021 but my guess is they will be again pushed to later this year or to VOD entirely. It's a crap game right now, which is probably why Warners jumped the gun and just said they have no real faith for theatrical releases in 2021.

So theaters are now nine months into this unprecedented situation with no real defined end in sight. They can carry on only so long with re-releases of, say, My Best Friend's Wedding before it passes the point of no return. I wish I was optimistic that they will be able to hold the line until Herd Immunity and Consumer Confidence but it's easier for me to say that than for them to do it.

Because, eventually, we will have both HI and CC but it won't mean much if there's no theaters left open.

Which will almost inevitably speed us further and further to a world where VOD/Steaming is the new release model. (I feel like we've been heading there a while with the window between theatrical and VOD getting shorter and shorter. In the early days of video movies sometimes didn't make their way to VHS for over a year or more but in the last ten years it seems it's about three months at most.)

The truth is, even without COVID-19 a lot of people more or less abandoned the theater-going experience a long time ago. Why put up with a lot of frustration when you can wait a measly three months and see the same movie at home for about the same amount of money on a nice large television? Where you can pause it for "bio breaks"? Where a soda doesn't cost eight dollars? Where you don't have to listen to idiots making running commentary throughout the film? Where you don't have to see the light of someone's smartphone as they text (because there's no world where someone couldn't go the length of a movie without texting or checking their texts)? Where, get this, you can watch the movie at the time it's convenient for you to do so?

The truth is, while people generally love going to the movies there's a lot of things that make the experience an unpleasant one, especially when there's an incredibly attractive alternative that really only has two downsides:

1-You have to wait to see a movie you might really want to see (and don't want it spoiled)

2-You don't get that "theatrical" experience that is only available on the big screen with an attentive and appreciate audience

So, in the aforementioned symbiotic circle, it seems to me the Studios are becoming less in need of the Theaters than vice versa. Theaters should probably take a good long hard (and possibly painful) look at their business and decide how to proceed. How to make people want to come back to theaters and keep coming back. They can (and hopefully will) do this but while there's some downtime I would say they do some soul-searching about the current Theatrical Experience on a Customer Service level and make some changes. Many of them wouldn't really even be that difficult.

THE REMEDY IN SEVERAL SIMPLE STEPS

So, two important things to note before I gets started.

1-I am a simple humble moviegoer. I have no inside insight into the Theater Industry other than as a person who loves going to the movies. I am now well over 40 years into my love of movies but also of sitting down in a theater and wanting every time to be transported somewhere. My thoughts, opinions, and suggestions are merely those of a Consumer. So, if someone who works in the Industry at all were to read this and scoff at my thoughts, that's fine, but I have a feeling I speak for many. (And I am one who has not as of yet abandoned the theater-going experience).

2-My experiences and views come from attending Theatrical Chains almost entirely. I live in suburban New Jersey and that's what we have. If you're fortunate enough to live near a small independent theater run by owners who clearly love film and want to give their patrons a great experience--that's wonderful. I envy you. But I have the experience where the lobby is like a train station.

These aren't necessarily in order, but as a Consumer these are the things I would love to see addressed for when I go back to the movies.

1. LIMIT THE TRAILERS

"But I LOVE the trailers!" I can hear people already crying. Well, guess what? So do I. The coming attractions have always been a fun part of the moviegoing experience. They are a nice way to get a handle on what's going to be released and sometimes they end up being better than the full movie. But here's the thing-in the last ten years or so the amount of trailers being shown before a movie has increased and increased and increased some more. I would guess the average is now about eight before a given movie. Eight three minute trailers, or longer than a sitcom without commercials. So a movie that is, in theory, supposed to start at, say, 1:00PM matinee will now start at 1:30PM. Also, since they show so many trailers, if you're a regular moviegoer like me you see the same ones over and over. Last year I would estimate I saw the preview for Ford v Ferrari a dozen times between the Spring and its eventual Thanksgiving release (a fine movie, by the way, but I was thrilled when it opened so they would stop showing the accursed trailer). By having so many trailers, they also tend to blend together (because many of them are edited exactly the same, which is a discussion for another time) so after being inundated with them I forget about most of them after they are done--until the next time. It's wrong to have a movie have a stated start time and then routinely it doesn't start for a half hour after that. I say three trailers is more then plenty. Also, we don't need two minute-long-each things telling us the theater chain we're in. We've already bought the ticket.

Three trailers, no more no less.

2. OVERALL QUALITY CONTROL

This should be a no-brainer. When showing a movie it should:

A-Be projected correctly

B-Have the sound set correctly

C-Have the lights dimmed to darkness

I am amazed at how often I see movies, paid my 10 bucks, and then had something wrong with it. Last year Dark Waters had some sort of purplish blotch on the screen, Sicario 2 had the lights on until I told them to turn them down, and in 2012 the sound was so messed up during Skyfall that when I informed the acting manager she went into an extended rant about how they had a new digital sound system (as a sidenote she refused to believe me at first--I had to TWICE go out to tell them the sound wasn't working). It's inexcusable that I would ever have to go to the lobby to tell them something is wrong. As a ticket-buyer I didn't also sign on the be Quality Assurance for your business. So, for every single showing of every single movie someone who works at the theater needs to check the picture, the sound, and the lights and work to fix it quickly when they are not right. Don't make your patrons act as employees.

3. DEAL WITH PHONES AND TALKERS

This is another area where theaters seem to think it's my job as the customer to police their policies. I didn't go to the movie so I could feel like a grade school hall monitor telling on someone. I don't understand what is so important in anyone's life that they need to check their phone repeatedly through a movie but I would think if it was life-altering they probably shouldn't be at a movie in the first place. That being said-clearly telling people not to text at the beginning of the movie is worthless since people who would heed that aren't going to do it to start with. So, this one is not easy to fix as it also should be on the patrons to not be rude jerks but there has to be a way to curb this. Hire bouncers like a club? Make people genuinely afraid to break the rules? I am not sure. What I am sure of, though, is that AMC almost implemented a policy a few years back which would have allowed texting during some screenings, which would have opened the door to making it a regular thing (it also sorta showed a total lack of caring about the films they show but that's a sorta different topic). I don't want it to get to where people are afraid to even clear their throat in a theater (maybe I do) but this idea of people using their phones and speaking at a regular loudness level needs to be stopped. I shouldn't have to move my seat when I am not the one breaking the policies. My guess is this is the biggest thing that stops people from wanting to go to a movie (I wouldn't on a dare go to a movie on a weekend opening night because of rude idiots).

4. MORE VARIETY

Look, I get it. It's a business so the theater needs to devote multiple screens to the big new Superhero movie so it can show every half hour. That said, because there's a devotion to taking up 99% of your screens with three movies at a given time people who, say, don't want to see a Superhero (or other franchise) have nothing to see. Hence they stay home. If the theater has ten or more screens how about one of them is the weird "art" screen where you exclusively use it for foreign, re-release, indie, or documentary films? The counter-argument is "people don't go to those" which I will grant you is fair but part of the reason they don't is because they aren't being shown, so it's a vicious circle. If you devote one screen to offbeat films I am reasonably sure it will eventually build to a money-making size audience. By the way, Superhero and remake movies are eventually going to crash. Then where will you be? One theater in my area (which I fear is not going to re-open) actually is pretty good with showing alternative films on the reg. So we do occasionally see some offbeat films like Three Identical Strangers make some decent money. Many people are sorta tired of the top ten movies always being sequels, remakes, or remakes of sequels, or sequels to remakes. Television is fast supplanting movies for intelligent original programming. And you don't have to drive anywhere to see it.

5. THEATER RENTAL EXPANSION

Elvis Presley (to younger people he was a big music guy when your parents were not born yet) used to rent out whole theaters for himself and his friends (the Memphis Mafia--you younger people can learn about them from your Nanny and Pop Pop) so they would have the whole theater to themselves and Elvis wouldn't be hassled by his fans. This is actually an attractive idea. Some theater chains have been experimenting with this for the past few months. $99 to rent the whole theater is a reasonable amount (figure you and some friends pool your dough and it's the same or cheaper than just going to the movies regularly) to spend to avoid some of the things I have complained about above. I say run with this concept. That said, two areas to improve this:

1-Better selection of films. I know it's probably going to be older titles but when I checked earlier in December there were only like seven movies to choose from and they were all Christmas movies.

2-Newer movies' rentals should be cheaper. The Croods 2 was $299 to rent the theater for. That seems high for a movie that's theatrical-to-VOD window was like 15 days. I understand the new Marvel movie can't be $99 but maybe $150 would be the sweet spot on newer releases.

SO. This has been a bit verbose. I am passionate about this subject. I love movies (to hammer that point home) and love going to the movies. One of my favorite things is to go to an early bird show on Saturday mornings. I'd hate for that to go away. I'd also hate to stop wanting to go to the movies.

I assume once we have Herd Immunity there will be an adjustment period for movies and many many things. We've not had this happen in our lifetimes so it's hard to know what's gonna happen. When Theaters are opened wide again and Studios are releasing films more regularly it will take time for people to regain their comfort. That's understandable. To help with that I would focus on improving the existing experience moreso than the gimmicks I sort of think we're going to get ("See a Movie for a dime!" or giveaways) to entice people.

People shouldn't need to be enticed to want to go to the movies. The experience of going should be enticement enough in and of itself. Remind people that there's still nothing quite like the feeling of seeing a new movie as the lights go down in a Theater.

But, do make a new movie where Robert De Niro plays a grumpy dogcatcher chasing an animated CGI sassy dog. Because that would be hilarious.